Sunday, March 12, 2006

Pain

I have dealt with a lot of pain in my life so its not new to me. I have had many surgical procedures in my life such as an appendectomy, laparoscopy to remove an ovarian cyst, tonsillectomy twice (dont ask), carpal tunnel surgery, spinal surgery with fusion and bone graft (titanium rods and pins with a carbon fiber cage), thyroidectomy and a few others I cant recall, LOL. After the breast surgery I had the typical post surgical pain and it was getting better as the days went by at home. At one week post-op I developed horrible swelling in my left breast and underarm area where the 2nd incision is. I went to the surgeon to see if it was infected and she told me that it was just very swollen and would take time to go away. The fluid has to be readsorbed into the bloodstream from the tissues. I am taking my pain medicine and using my trusty ice pack and it helps. In time it will feel better. I also am dealing with my migraines which pop up out of no where. I have had those since I was 18 years old so thats not new to me either. When I get them now I have a hidden fear that maybe the cancer has spread to my brain. Sometimes I have irrational fears like that pop up out of nowhere. Its not really an irrational fear I guess because I already have cancer so its a realistic fear to me. I do have a high pain tolerance so it has to be pretty bad before I complain. I am so used to going about my daily activities with a severe migraine because I have no choice in the matter. Someone needs to take care of my children. I have been to the emergency room for my migraines too many times that I have lost count.

1 comment:

MsSlinky said...

I know what you mean about wondering if a migraine is really cancer. I get migraines too, and my dad died of a brain tumour when I was 21, so pretty much every time I get a bad migraine there's a little voice in the back of my head whispering, "What if this time..?"
Mostly I just tell the little voice to shut the heck up and leave me to die (or not) in peace. If it's my time to go, there's gonna be squat I can do about it anyway. I think that's probably true for everyone, regardless of what stage of health they're in. You just do what you can with what you've got, and get through the day the best that you can. No one's expecting you to be Superwoman, hon -- you just be You. And if that means that today you're a whimpering, miserable ball of white-hot pain who can hardly roll out of bed and whose head is filled with negative thoughts, well that's fine. We love you anyway. :)