Thursday, March 09, 2006
I received a phone call from the breast surgeon on Feb 23rd, two days after my biopsies. The kids were out with my husband and I thank the good Lord for that. I am grateful they did not see me in that state. She imediately told me that it was Invasive Dictal Carcinoma and thats the type that spreads easily and fast. There was no doubt that I would need chemo and radiation and I had a huge lump in my throat at this time. Between crying I was trying to absorb info and also ask questions of the surgeon. We had already set up a date for surgery because even if it was benign she had planned on taking it out. I was so upset that I was unable to call anyone including my Mom for 3 hours afterwards. I cried it all out before my husband came home because I didnt want to have a breakdown in front of the kids. I would save those emotions for when I was with my husband alone when the kids went to bed. I can honestly say that this was one of the worst days of my life and I had been through a lot in my 34 years. The past 6 have been difficult involving carpal tunnel surgery,tonsillectomy (second one), difficult pregnancy with my daughter, diagnosis with Graves Disease with my son's pregnancy, hospitalizations for dehydration and migraine treatment when pregnant, problems with the babies umbilical cord where I needed a level 2 ultrasound every 4 weeks to check the baby, spinal surgery when my son was 5 months old that involved a fusion and bone graft, thyroidectomy a month after back surgery, 1.5 years of physical therapy, son diagnosed with developmental issues and speech delays, death of 2 grandparents within 6 weeks of each other, depression and now when I am thinking that this year will be the best and better than all the rest, I am diagnosed with BC. There are probably a few more that I am forgetting but you get the point. Believe me I am not trying to complain but just list all the screwed up crap I have dealt with over the past few years. I thought I deserved a break this year at least! Thats another reason I was in shock. I also know that there is always someone who is worse off than me so I really shouldnt complain. I am determined to beat this and have a positive attitude most of the time. I know that there wll be bad days and I have to learn to deal with them. I thank God that I have a great family thats willing to help me get through this most difficult time.