Thursday, March 23, 2006

The First Step out of Many

Tomorrow is a big day for me and a day I thought would never come. When they gave me my breast cancer diagnosis and the surgery date that came and went. Then they said I would start chemo in 2-3 weeks and it seemed like it was so far away but here we are, 3 weeks from my surgery and I am going to start my chemo.

Tomorrow I have to be at the hospital at 6:15am for a port-a-cath placement. Its a central line that will enable them to administer the chemo through the port every other week without having to start a new IV and stick me every time. Its great for people like me who dont have great veins and dont want chemotheraputic drugs going through a peripheral catheter. If the drug that they are administering like Adriamycin & Cytoxan gets out of the vein somehow, it will destroy the surrounding tissues and you'll have a big problem on your hands. Thats why I chose the central line.

I dont know which I am more nervous about, the cath placement or my 1st chemo treatment tomorrow. I am going to be bringing my husband with me and also some books, SuDoku and my trusty stuffed dog, Baley. He's named after my favorite actor, Christian Bale by the way. When I went to Build-Bear to make him I chose a Boxer because I thought it would be symbolic of him kicking the cancer's ass in a way. Its a cute story when people ask me about him because he came to the hospital when I had the lumpectomy and I used him under my arm for support so he did serve a purpose other than just to be cute!

I am praying and putting my faith in God and I know that through him all things are possible. This is possible and I can beat this cancer and I can get through this one step at a time.

"Sometimes what seems like the darkest step we've ever been on comes just before the brightest light we've ever experienced"

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