Monday, September 03, 2007

Bad News

Nana died at 3pm on Saturday September 1st.
We had been going to my parents to be with her almost every day and we decided to stay home on Saturday because the kids were very upset over everything they had been seeing and asking a lot of questions. I am glad they were not there when she died.

A huge fight broke out at the house while we were there that involved us (my sister was there). I do not plan on rehashing this story here because even though it was a very bad fight with curse words flying all over the place, My father got mad because I called him an asshole. Well, if the shoe fits...

(Edited 9/4/07 @ 3am) My Mom said that if she ever called her father an asshole that she would have had her teeth knocked out of her mouth by him. My response to that is, "Your father would have helped you more if you had been diagnosed with breast cancer" AND she knows there are many things my Dad has said that justifies what I called him. Before going through my treatment I wrote him a letter and he called me saying he was going to change and not be so negative. One of the things I didnt like was the way he made fun of Nana all the time. He said he would change. All I have to say is that he has not changed and that makes me mad because now he says that I have the problems and me and my husband need to see a therapist when he is the one that has the mental problems but he convinces others that they are the ones with the problems. Right. Thats called passive aggressive but remember its me and my husband that have the problems. He tells my husband that I need to control my anger and have an outlet for it AND why am I so angry? Is he kidding me or what? I really think that my Dad compares what I went through to having a cold or something minor. He's not with me when I go to my oncologists office and relive the times I went there for my chemo treatments. He forgets that I have had more surgeries than I care to remember then he has the nerve to say something as stupid as "Why does she get so angry and I need to control it". My husband said that "My wife has earned the right to scream, yell and have tantrums because I had cancer and any normal woman would do the same." He doesnt get it because he has never had a damn thing wrong with him and has never been hospitalized. So many things were said but I can possibly go over each ane every one right now. I think you, dear reader, understand why I called my father an asshole.

I am sparing all of you the gory, horrid details (even though I vented a bit there about my father). I am hoping that something good comes of it. Something tells me that things never change but even it it does for a little bit then maybe it was worth it.

9/3/07- We went to the wake this evening and I cant believe how nice Nana looked. I know that many people talk about that type of stuff and how their relative looked really bad in the casket, yada yada yada and so on...but she really did look nice especiallu for someone thats dead. They are having more viewing hours tomorrow afternoon and evening and the kids are going to stay home tomorrow with my husband while I attend. They have to get up for school tomorrow and I know they were exhaisted when they went this evening. Maybe tomorrow, I can stop at the bead store on the way to the wake and check out whats new.


Curly Cable said...

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news regarding your Nana, at least she is no longer in any pain or suffering. Sorry to hear you had to go through the mill with your family, especially under these circumstances but sometimes tensions build up, that the inevitable happens into a huge explosion. and at least you managed to air your feelings, as for your dad, sometimes being told the truth hurts but hopefully it will make him realise the hurt you've felt for a long time. "hugs to you, your husband and kids"

CurlyBrunette said...

Thanks so much CC, you're a sweetie