Monday, August 27, 2007

Some Things Never Change

Yesterday we went to my parents house for the 1st time in months. I cant remember when I was there last. I have been avoiding going there for fear I will run into my sister and I really dont want a fight to break out. My husband is a very calm and laid back person but if he runs into her I am afraid he is going to have an explosion. He has seen what she has done to me, the stress she has caused me, sleepless nights and numerous fights we have had over the whole situation. This is why he wants to kick her ass and so do I. I think there is a line forming with the same request because my parents have had it with her behavior also. I have been telling my Mom for months that she has to do something about it and she finally realizes it now?

I cant tell you how many times I have written her letters, or my parents have tried to talk to her and get her to change. As we all know, people dont change because we want them to. They change because THEY want to. Some things never change and she is one of them. Its shocking to me because something like your sister battling something as serious as breast cancer would be enough to wake up some people from their stupor, but not her. Its both upsetting to me and very, very sad. She was actually over the house yesterday, in her room on the second floor when we arrived. My Great Aunts were there along with her (my sister's) Godmother and she didnt even come out of her room to say hello or greet anyone. She snuck out of the house without anyone knowing without saying anything to anyone.

My Mother is extremely stressed right now and this pissed her off even more. My Mom told me that my sister never came to visit my Nana in the rehab facility (she was there for 21 days). My Nana is in the process of dying right now and my sister cant even spend time with her? What has my Nana ever done to her to deserve this type of treatment? Well, whatever it is it must be the same thing I did to deserve the treatment I have been receiving from her. My cousin was also over for dinner yesterday and filled me in on some stuff I didnt know and I dont think my Mom even knew. She said that when my Nana was in the hospital (she didnt know it at the time) she came to my parents house to visit her and my sister was home. My cousin asked how I was doing (not knowing she doesnt talk to me) and my sister replied, "We dont talk anymore." She made a mistake there when she said that. She should have said that SHE doesnt talk to ME!! What a bitch. She also said that she was "taking the day off" from visiting Nana because me, my husband and my son were visiting her. Yeah, she didnt want to run into me thats why. I love that phrase she used also because every day is a day off for my sister. She stays out all hours of the night and then sleeps until 3 in the afternoon AND she's going to be 30 years old in 2 months! They call that a LOSER in my dictionary. My kids went upstairs to say hello to her and was knocking on her bedroom door. She opened it and said that she was busy and couldnt come out but she would come out and play with them later. She lied. She lied to my children, her Godchildren. Can you see why I am getting madder?

Think of how the whole situation looks to an outsider. She is the one that looks like an asshole, not me. After all I went through and all the surgeries I have had even before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, she doesnt talk to me? WHY?? I have had many, many surgeries and medical issues since I was pregnant with my daughter and she is 7 and a half years old. She never lifted a finger to help me or call me or anything for me or my family. I would always extend an invitation to my sister and her boyfriend (who is my son's Godfather) and she would say NO 100% of the time. After a while it gets frustrating but it didnt stop me from inviting her to do things with me and my family. Can you tell I am a little upset? I was crying on the ride home yesterday not only for this but the whole situation.

My father is so clueless also and he hasnt changed. Before I went through chemo I told him I didnt want his negativity around me. I wanted to surround myself with positive people, which he isnt. He told my husband that he wants to "negotiate a peace" between me and my sister. My husband said no, dont do that. He told my Dad that he just doesnt understand how I feel because he has never been in that type of situation. My father thinks its the best thing to do "for my mother" at this time. NO ITS NOT and he needs to mind his own business. He's so damn clueless that when we were leaving and he was saying good-bye to us he mentioned that he's still trying to convince my sister that smoking is bad for her. UGH!! WAKE UP! I told him to stop giving a shit for people who couldnt care less about him. See, he doesnt get it. I could go on and on about him too but I dont want to keep typing all night. You get the point. I havent talked about my sister and the situation in a long time because thats not what this blog is about. Its important for me to tell the story so I can vent and get it out. If I held this all in I would explode and sometimes its nice for you readers to know why I am in a certain mood and such. I am sure with the situation going on with my Nana, you might be hearing a bit more about my sister and the whole situation. If anything happens to my Nana, I am going to inevitably meet my sister face to face and man do I have a lot to say. I am hoping there are lots of people present when that happens. My father also makes me mad because he's a mean person and he has always been an ass to my Nana. My husband and I always told him that she wasnt well and thats why she acted and said the things she did. Sometimes she said some crazy things about me but I didnt let it bother me more than a minute because I knew she had something medically wrong with her and that would explain it. My Nana's Dr and my husband tried to tell my father that Nana wasnt well and not to be so mean to her but he never listened and it continued. He said some mean things to my husband yesterday but he wont tell me what they were. It wouldnt surprise me because this is the same person that told my husband that I caused my own cancer because I "stress out" at silly things. Can you see me getting MADDER now? Hypocrite.

Back to my sister...Right now I am not sure my parents can do anything about my sister because of the situation with Nana. She came home and is under hospice care. They originally said that she had 6 months but my husband and I both agree that her condition had deteriorated much faster than we first thought. Dont get me wrong, I dont want to see her die but I dont want to see her suffer this way. Yesterday she was in a lot of pain and we had to call her Dr and the hospice to get her pain medication increased which, by the time we had left she was having some relief. Please say a prayer for her.

I have to talk about some happy things now.
Here is some jewelry I have made over the past few days:

Amethyst Set
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Cotton Candy Cane
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Millifiori & BC Awareness Bracelets
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Mint Chocolate Chip with Cherries
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Close up of the Cane Glass
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Pink Stars in a Blue Sky
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Tribal Glitter
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Autumn Leaves-SOLD!
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Smoky Topaz Gets in Your Eyes
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Purple Passion Flower
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Marshmallow Marble
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Blue Hearts
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Come Fly With Me
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My Sock Kit from Blue Moon came the other day!
Flower Power colorway and Summer of Love Lace by JC Briar pattern:
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I havent started these socks because I have to finsih at least one of the Solstice Slip Socks from the June kit. I am trying to finish the cabled tank top but I had to rip back and fix a mistake yesterday so that set me back a bit. I'm slow but I get it done should be my motto!


Laurie said...

Hello, I absolutely ADORE your Autumn Leaves necklace. Do you sell your jewelry? Would you kindly email me more info on how I can get one if you do? My email address is Thanks.

PS--I suffer from lymphedema also, but I have it in both legs. It severely limits my mobility. I can totally sympathize with you about the pain. I have been hospitalized from complications numerous times.

Thank you again, your jewelry is exquisite.

Curly Cable said...

What gorgeous jewellery, they really are fab. My STR kit arrived too yesterday, I love the yarn, but not too sure about the pattern with this one. I must get few WIP's out the way before I decided what sock to make though;) Look forward to seeing pictures of your cabled tank soon