Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Pathology Report is in!

The phone rang the other day and it was the surgeon filling in for mine calling with my pathology report. He's a great Dr but speaks in a monotone voice so I thought at first that he had bad news for me. He started saying that the tumor wasnt a Schwannoma or a Neuroma like they first thought but something called a Tenosynovial Giant Cell Tumor. These tumors are found in and around JOINTS such as the knee not in the location mine was in which was the sciatic nerve. Mine wasnt not next to or near the nerve but entangled in the nerve. So much so that they had to cut my sciatic nerve in 2 spots and re-attach it. HE then told me that the final report says that it was benign! Thank God! I was so worried about this tumor you have no idea. With my luck being the way it is I was prepared for just about anything and I was getting ready to go through all kinds of hellish treatment again. I am very happy with the pathology results but I am not happy with the pain I am experiencing with my leg. Since I had neuro surgery I not only get the surgical pain but nerve pain. I dont have to much nerve pain but it comes in waves and when I do get it I cant do a darn thing. I think I am going to need some type of PT to get my leg back into shape. I have an appointment for a follow up with the surgeon next week so I guess we will discuss it then. The staples that I have in my leg are really bothering me and they need to come out. I dont think I can wait until the end of next week so my DH is going to pick up a staple remover today when we swing by the hospital on our way to my cousins house. The ones on the end of my incsision are falling out anyway.

I hate to complain all the time but there are times I have to and I think with all the pain and discomfort I am having it makes it easier to complain about things. The things I do compain about are legitimate complains and for all I have been through I think it gives me the right to complain about whatever I want. The first complaint is that I cannot take another medical problem or surgery. My body needs a break. You definitely know that you have had enough when you sit down to fill out those forms before you take a test such as an MRI or CAT scan where they ask you your past medical and surgical history? You know those lovely forms I am speaking of right? Well, when there is not enough room on those to write all the surgeries, procedures, treatments and medical histories then you have got a problem. I almost want to write: "To many to write down, please see medical records", but you cant do that because the techs doing the test on you need to know certain things before the test is done. I almost ran out of ink and its so annoying to list them all. I wont even bore you with them here. I am just tired of it all.

Another problem that keeps bothering me is the situation with my sister. I havent spoken about it in a long time because I was ignoring it and not letting it get to me but lately with whats been going on its bothering me again. I want to write another letter to her but the 1st one I wrote didnt get me anywhere so I think it wont be worth the effort. The main things about this situation that bother me the most are:
~my Mom doesnt do anything about it and keeps saying that she's sick of what my sister is doing and how she's treating not only me but them. She's almost 30 and she is still at home and my Mom claims she cant speak to her because she is never home. Ugh, that never stopped her from telling me what was on her mind! How about putting a chain lock on the door or changing the lock so that she has to ring the bell and then she cant run when you have to open the door to let her in? Then you can say to her, "We need to talk right now" no matter what time of the day it is. If its a problem thats destroying relationships then isnt it worth doing something about? Its not even a matter of her acting like my sister again because I know that its not going to happen but in our family there were always consequences for our actions and if I ever treated anyone the way my sister has treated me and my kids then there would be hell to pay. It would never happen because my parents wouldnt allow me to do things like that so why do they allow my sister? My Mom says she has no control over her and shes right that she cant control her actions and how she treats people but she certainly doesnt have to accept it or put up with it. My sister is walking all over them and they are allowing it to happen, its their own fault. They need to present a united front and speak to her together. Tough love is what I say. Its not even tough love its treating others how you want to be treated so I say give her a dose of her own medicine.
~The other thing is that my parents keep giving her CHANCES. She doesnt deserve these chances. Why do they do this? My Mom said to me before my surgery, "I had it out with your sister (again!) and I told her that she has one last chance to make this right and to call you after your surgery". OK, first of all it would NOT make anything right by forcing her to call me or threatening her to call me after my surgery. God, do I feel loved now! Its so sincere when someone is forced to do something like that! NOT! Would it make all the things she did to me in the past go away if she did call me? Fat chance. What did my kids do to deserve this treatment? They ask me all the time about their Aunt and what am I supposed to say? At this age kids take all the blame on themselves when things go wrong. They think that everything is their fault and from what they have said to me about this situation they think that they did something wrong to make their Aunt not want to speak or play with them. Its sad that she is doing this to them and its even sadder that my parents wont do anything about it. My parents are being wimps with this situation and I have never had the luxury of getting away with murder when it came to them so I cant understand why they are doing it. Lets keep giving her chances that she doesnt even dererve! God that makes me so angry and it hurts like hell. In conclusion, my sister did not call me nor have I seen her since Christmas. Do I want to see her? No. Do I want an apology? That would be nice but its not going to happen. What do I want to happen in this situation? I want my parents to step up and be parents. I want them to show her that she cant treat people this way and have no consequences to her actions. Throw her out of your house and thats it. She'll either come to the realization that she is acting like an ass or she wont. The moral of the story is that if she does continue to act like an ass you dont want that type of person in your life anyway. No one has a realationship with her now so its not like they are going to be sacrificing it? I dont get it.

Now that I feel better getting that off my chest I'll talk about whats new in knitting news. I got my Blue Moon Fiber Arts Rockin Sock Club June Kit in the mail 2 days ago and I already am working on the pattern in the foot. I love it! Its such a great colorway and I promise to post pictures next time. They are all on my camera with the new yarn I received from my order to WoolGirl. On my way back from my post-surgery MRI on Friday I stopped at my LYS, Knitting Central, to pick up size 0 Addi Turbos for the sock because my other 0's are in use on my Tofutsies. I went through all my needles and I cant believe that I only had one size 0! I have about 5-6 size 1's and 2's but only one 0 (I do have DPN's in all sizes but rather make socks on the magic loop). It was unthinkable! So I made my 1st visit to KC since before my surgery. Everyone there was so happy to see me, asking how I was and all. I love that store because the employees are a joy and so kind and compassionate along with Cynthia, the owner. I wasnt able to attend my STARRY NIGHT SHAWL CLASS on the 21st because I was in way to much pain to sit for an extended period of time and concentrate on the shawl. I am going to attend the class in August and then the last one in September. That gives me plenty of time to get things done. One of the ladies from the class was in the store working on the shawl so I had a chance to see how it looked on the long circular. Its so beautiful! I hope mine will look like that when I get to that point. She made me a little nervous because I told her that I was putting a life line into the whole hexagon and all its stitches when the instructions say to put one in every 17 stitches. I didnt realize this until later on but I dont think its going to be an issue since I made the life line VERY long and can easily fix that. The important thing is that the hexagon is on a lifeline and later will be kitchnered to the other hexagons. If I need some assistance I am sure someone will help me and not leave me to dangle in the breeze.
The sweater I started for my cousin (who's birthday party I am going to later) is not going to be finished for today's party. No surprise there but it is going to be finished soon because its on size 11 needles. I am using one of my favorite yarns, Schaefer Elaine. Its such a beautiful colorway (Kermie) and I love the small percentage of elastic in the mix because it makes it a bit stretchy for baby to fit comfortably in. I am making it in a size 3 instead of the 2 like I had originally planned so he gets more wear out of it. My other little cousin's birthday is next month and I plan on making her the same sweater in "The Little Mermaid" colorway. I havent forgotten about the cabled tank top that I am making for myself from Berocco's Love It! yarn. I am almost done with the back and then will start the straps. Its such a nice yarn to work with that also has that bit of stretch to it. Maybe if I didnt have so many projects I would get done faster with some of them? Well, I like having different projects to work on and they do get done, just slower than most other people! I love working on my socks so I always have to have at least 4-5 in the works and I do get them done. Knitty has an awesome pattern out now for an anklet sock that I want to make so badly! One of the lovely ladies at my LYS made a pair out of Panda Cotton and its to die for! Its so soft and squishy! (Is that a word?). I picked up the Addis and also some of Claudia's Handpainted in Strawberry Latte (it looks like neopolitan ice cream) and Nashua's Bloom Book. I have wanted that book ever since I saw the completed sweater on the cover on a friends blog. Its baby's 1st Aran and its adorable! There are 14 designs for babies in the book and 2 of my Dr's are having babies in the fall so I thought it would be nice to have a nice choice of baby pattens to make for them.

Over the past few weeks I have had this itch to make an Afghan for my living room and my sons room. My DD has the afghan that my Mom made me when I was a little girl. Someday I will get a picture of it. Its 36 years old and holding up strong. I am sure it will last another 36 years. See, acrylic is good for something! LOL. I dont mind acrylic as long as its not scratchy. Caron Simply Soft and Red Heart Soft Yarn are two nice acrylic choices and recently I bought a ton of Lion Brand Cotton Ease which is 50 cotton and 50 acrylic. I am pouring over a ton of books such as: 201 Crochet Motifs, Blocks, Projects & Ideas, 200 Crochet Blocks for Blankets, Throws and Afghans, 100 Afghans and 7 Day Afghans, just to name a few. So far I cant decide on what I want to do. I have ideas but the main thing is that I dont want to have to carry around a huge blanket in the summer heat. I am leaning toward doing a mitered square so I can just make a bunch of those which are totally portable and cool in the heat. The problem is I cant decide on whether to crochet it or knit it! I have such an itch to crochet but every time I have started to make a granny square I rip it up and put it away for another day. I am just not happy with what I am doing. I love the Log Cabin and the Mitered Square blankets in Mason-Dixon Knitting so thats another choice I can go with. Maybe there are to many choices? LOL

Other good news is that I might have someone who wants to carry my stitch markers in their online knitting/yarn store!! That would be fantabulous! I am mailing some out to her this week so wish me luck! I ordered from my favorite store again: and I cant wait to get my stuff, which should be here on Monday. My DH bought me a beautiful set of jewelery tools to work with instead of the crappy ones I bought from the craft store. The cheap ones dont even compare to the HUSKY brand he bought me at HOME DEPOT. I should return those other ones because they pretty much dont work and I just bought them! I am also experimenting with polymer clay and having fun making all kinds of shapes and such. More surprises to come!

Gotta get ready to go to a BBQ now so off I go...
Happy Knitting!


Wool Girl said...

I'm so happy for you that the tumor was benign! That has to be a relief! Now to just deal with the pain and everything else that comes with it. You are strong and can make it through anything! I will be thinking of you!

CurlyBrunette said...

Thanks so much WoolGirl! I am very happy about that. Thanks again for thinking of me!

Curly Cable said...

Great news that the tumor was benign. What a relief, shame after your op, you still have a pain, but I'm sure that will ease now that dratted lump has been removed! I really feel for you, having a sister who is so spoilt and self-centered, try to take comfort in the fact, that you are nothing like her. she's the one who will end up lonely and miserable! Take care of yourself! Hugs x