I was going to make the title of this post, "Is the whole world crazy or is it just me?" BUT I had already had that as a title before and I cant have a repeat title! So the title is confirmed because I know that the whole world IS crazy and its not just me! Here is the story:
My daughter is receiving First Communion this weekend. My sister is her Godmother and we dont really speak or have a relationship but thats not the issue. The issue is my daughters Godfather, who happens to be that my Dad's Brother's Son (my Uncle's Son), is not going to be at the celebration for my daughter. Even though I told him at the beginning of the year that this is the year she receives communion and its very important that he be there because she only sees him 2 times a year, I reminded him at her birthday in January and in February when she received her First Reconciliation Sacrament we told him that it would be either the 10th or the 11th depending on which day her class chose to receive. He told my Mom that he would put it in his calendar and that was the end of that. I figured I told him more than 3 times, there is no way he can screw it up. I was wrong. He spends more time with his fiances sisters kids then his own God daughter. He JUST responded to the invite (the last day to RSVP was 5/3 and they were sent out 3 weeks ago & today by the calendar that I go by says that today is the 5th of May) that he cant come because he is going to a wedding out of state. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? So to sum it up: He knew about his Goddaughters Communion since December. Lets give him the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't know the day until February. February was 3 months ago. He got the wedding invite a couple of months ago so when he did shouldn't a light bulb have gone off in his head and said, Wait a minute, my Goddaughters communion is that same weekend! Then instead of calling me a while back when he received the communion invite he waits until 2 days after the RSVP is due and then calls. I wish I could play the message he left on my machine because you can tell he's lying through his teeth when he is telling me why he cant make it and that he thought he told us why. Yeah, right. Very responsible for a 34 year old man.
I called his mother and told her that I was disappointed in his decision and that if it was such a hard decision to make between the wedding and the communion then why is he calling 5 days before the communion and not sooner to explain this to me? I would have had more respect for him if he did that. I was so upset that I told her that it's what he signed up for when he became her Godfather. He is SUPPOSED to be there. If a Godfather cant come to a God Childs communion then when can he be around? A communion comes once in a lifetime and as it is my sister is not an active presence in my daughters life so who else does she have? I feel bad for her because its not fair and he has done things like this in the past and I havent said a thing but I cant keep quiet now, I just cant. I have been upset all day and you wont even believe what this b*tch and a half said to me as I was telling her that he should be there. She had the balls to say, "How active are you in your faith, how often do you go to church?" I was taken aback by this and was astounded because that has nothing to do with doing the right thing and keeping the family together. I didnt bring up the fact that my daughters Godfather is marrying outside his religion because I dont think it matters (it doesn't matter to me and I don't want my readers to think I am prejudiced in any way. I am just making a point) but if she wants to play hardball then maybe I should have said something like that. I didnt. I always do the right thing. My parents taught me that family always comes first but they (his family) dont seem to think so. The three times my Dad has tried to get together with them when they come into town they have blown him off. My father is a bit upset over this. His own brother has lost his sense of what family means and they are the ones that preach it all the time!! They always choose their friends over the family and its something that my Dad is also fed up with not just me. After she said that to me I hung up on her because I was crying. I don't broadcast to anyone when or how often I go to church because I am not like that. They are the ones that always preach and send me religious crap and stuff. I dont brag about how I went to church on Sunday and heard what the priest said and so on. I hate those type of people. Practice what you preach and he without sin should cast the first stone. Also he who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. They follow the rules that only apply to them and then conveniently use them against others when it suits them. Thats whats called a HYPOCRITE. A picture of my Uncle, Aunt and their son are all next to that picture in the dictionary. The other 2 brothers live far away and one is actually coming with his girlfriend and I am very happy about that.
After all I have been through in my life I have more appreciation for life than anyone I know. I have had so many surgeries (in the double digits), been through cancer and treatment, had numerous deaths in my family and so on and you never hear me preach or yet bitch about it. So I called my Dad and Mom and they calmed me down and told me what to do. My Aunt called me back right after I hung up with my Dad and I was calm. She made it out like I was attacking her when I was the calm one all along until she came at me with a vengeance and said that nasty things about my religious practices. I told her that she knew what the right thing to do was and that I was going to call her son and give him a piece of my mind in a nice way of course. If the Godfather cant be present for the communion when the hell can he be?? Its funny because he is always babysitting his fiances sisters kids and he never asks to babysit mine. He always talks about how cute they are and what they did together and so on whenever he is around me and my family which is not that often so you can see why I get mad. I am so stressed now and its not healthy for me because I am breaking out in hives all over my hands and arms. My husband who has a temper is livid and wants to explode. Who can blame him but he's not being rational when he's like this so I have to be the one to do the talking. He will talk from anger and thats not how to get someone to listen to you. I am going to be calm and collected and just say what my Dad told me to. If he wants to make that choice and not be with my daughter on her special day then maybe I have to rethink how important he is to my family and if I should even go to his wedding (which he asked me to do a reading at). We will see.
Well, I called my cousin and told him the same thing I told his Mom. I said that I was extremely disappointed that he is not coming and that the choice he made wasn't the right one. He got all defensive and started saying that I wasn't being fair asking him to choose between his wife's family (he ain't married yet, I reminded him) and me. I said the choice is not between me and his fiances family its between whats the right thing to do and whats the wrong thing to do. I then went on to remind him that he spends all his time with her family and his fiances sisters kids who he is not God Father to mind you. His priorities are screwed up. Its a common sense decision to be made and anyone can see it. He then says to me that when you are in a marriage you have to compromise and be able to give and take in certain situations. OK, this guy who is as immature as an 18 year old and not even married is telling me, who is married 10 years with 2 children and a lot more life experience under my belt than this schmuck. I told him that he better not ever try to tell me what married life is like because he is not even married yet! That takes balls. Several other nasty things were said including a statement about the reason he spends more time with his fiances sisters kids is because they are 1/2 hour away from him on the train. I reminded him that we are only an hour away from him on the train and we are only 20 minutes away from his place of work. So there. I hate excused and I hate stupid excuses even more. Then he says that maybe we need to spend more time together and that maybe I should invite him here more because I don't do so according to him. I can tell you that thats a load of crap because I invite him all the time and he's the one that always has other plans. For my daughters birthday party he rather attend a Super Bowl Party one year then go to his God Daughters birthday. This happened two years in a row. My Mom always invites him to special occasion dinners and Sunday family gatherings. My Dad happens to be his God Father and has even taken him on a trip to Las Vegas as a gift. I don't remember what it was for but I guess my cousin forgets these things. My father is the one that gives him all the advice he needs on investing and stocks. If it wasn't for my Dad he would not have made the great stock trades he has over the past few years. This kid must be smoking crack to say these things to me.
After I calmed down and I could see that he wasn't going to change his mind I said, "Well, what goes around comes around." He got all offended at that and said that I was the one who was damaging our relationship. ME? I said, "You already succeeded in doing that. He also said that I put a good guilt trip on him. I replied that I didn't put it on him, he did. I said that if he made the right decision then he wouldn't be feeling guilty end of story. He has to live with himself and right now I am so mad at him I can't even express into words how I feel. I am leaving out some stuff that was said but it wont make that much of a difference. I mentioned all the important things that were said but I still am confused as to whose wedding this is because first my Aunt said it was the fiances family then she said in the second phone call that it was her family and then my cousin said it was the fiances family again. Talk about confusing! I'll let you all know what comes of all of this. I do know my daughter is going to have a beautiful communion and we are going to have a great time. My best friend who I have known since 3rd grade is coming and I am so happy that she is. My other best friend might also be coming to.
Today I went and found 2 awesome outfits at Lord & Taylor with my husbands help. He did a great job helping me out and telling me what looked good and bad on me. I also found the most beautiful silver shoes that go with both dresses! It has taken me so long to find something to wear to my daughters communion. Now I just have to decide which one to wear to my daughters party and which one to wear to my cousins little girls communion party. Choices, choices!
The best thing happened to me after all this stress of today. My husband came home from taking our daughter to communion practice and gave me this beautiful gift bag from the church. When I opened it I was so surprised that I started to cry. Not because I was upset but because there are good and caring people in this world. It was a Prayer Shawl made specifically for me. It was made and prayed over for me by the lovely ladies in the Prayer Shawl Ministry that my church has. Here are some pictures.
Isn't it gorgeous!!! I love the colors and how they look like a rainbow. I have it wrapped around me right now. You know what, it works.