I first wanted to comment on how Christmas went at my parents house. No major fights broke out with my sister but she did snub my husband and ignored him most of the night. Her boyfriend was with us on Christmas Eve and he blatantly snubbed both me my husband and the kids the entire evening. I wished him a Merry Christmas because he wasnt speaking to me and I wanted to be the better person. He didnt really respond. My husband went to shake his hand and he turned and walked away from him. Nice guy hey? Her boyfriend also was supposed to come over on Christmas night and called in the middle of dinner to tell her that he wasnt coming. My sister was obviously upset with him and left the room to talk with him on her cell phone. She later told my Mom that she didnt know what his problem was. I have an opinion about what I think is happening and allow me a moment to explain. My sister has been with him for almost 9.5 years and he is younger than her (he was born in Jan 1980 and she in Oct 1977). When my son was born in 2002 they were together and I thought they were going to be getting married and I chose them to be his Godparents when he was baptized. I talked to my sister before I did this to make sure they were serious about marriage otherwise I wouldnt have chosen him to be his Godfather. Now for the past few years all I have been hearing from my sister is how she doesnt want to get married or have kids. I thought the reason for this was because her boyfriends Dad was terminally ill and dying of prostate cancer. He recently died a few months ago and things have gotten worse between them. My theory is that he doesnt want to marry her because she is a narcissistic controlling person incapable of caring for anyone other than herself and he really got a chance to see her true colors when I was sick and what she did to me. Maybe he is saying to himself, "Do I want a wife who is going to treat people this way, the way she treated her own sister when she was going through cancer treatment, surgery and chemo?" Maybe my sister feels sorry for him that he has no parents anymore and is basically alone. I cant figure them out. They have had a strange relationship from the very beginning. What makes me mad is my Dad is always making fun of how my husband can love me and makes sarcastic comments on it all the time. For some reason he thinks that my husband is "whipped" which he most certainly is not. If anyone is whipped and needs to be made fun of its my sister and her "whipped" boyfriend. Why cant he make fun of them? I've been with my husband since 1996 and we got married in 1998. He has been through hell with me and we have had our share of challenges and bumps in our marriage but we got through them. Right now we are in a great place and I cant be happier. Well, if I had a nice vacation alone with him a few days then I could be a little bit happier! Anyway, I dont know whats up with my sister and her boyfriend but she should be thinking of how much she sacrificed to care for her boyfriends Dad when I needed her to help me (and she did offer to help because she was out of work at the time and continued to be out of work the entire summer I was going through chemo and had my surgeries) and how that is time not only wasted but in the process she destroyed our relationship for someone she isnt even going to marry? Yup, its a bit confusing to say the least but on to my review of 2007.
2007 for me started out OK. The anniversary or first Cancerversary as I call it, of my breast cancer diagnosis came on February 23rd along with leg pain that was bothering me near my sciatic nerve in my left leg. I didnt think to much of it because my pain specialist seems to think I have fibromialgia and I attribute a lot of my aches and pains to that. I had my nipple reconstruction in March that went really well and I couldnt be happier with the results, especially after the nipple tatoos were done. In May I had a PET Scan that showed I had a tumor growing on my sciatic nerve. I got the run around from a Dr that I was referred to who specialized in what I had. I later found out that he never did this type of surgery before and I had a blow up with him on the phone. He was an egotistical asshole that had a horrendous bedside manner and seemed to only care about the almighty dollar. After I found a well qualified Dr who had experience with these types of tumors and removing them I was pleased and set up a surgery day (why couldnt this asshole Dr tell me that there was another Dr in the SAME PRACTICE that did this surgery before???) for June. He told me that there were no guarantees when he removed the tumor and that it might be cancer. They wouldnt know until the biopsy and path reports after the tumor was removed. I was more than nervous but my knitting and beading were there to calm and center me. What I would have done if I didnt have it I dont know. I would definitely lose my mind to say the least if I wasnt able to knit or bead.
I had the surgery in June and the tumor removed wasnt what they thought. It was a tino-synovial giant cell tumor which is not normally found on a nerve. The best news was that it was benign and not cancerous. I was so happy about that but recovery from the surgery which severed my sciatic nerve in a few places was painful and difficult to say the least. I still have issues with spasming of the muscles around the incsision area and it has just been recently controlled with a new pain medication which makes it easier for me to get up in the morning and do activities of daily living.
After that surgery I continued to go to occupational therapy for my lymphedema. The lymphedema was under control but my hand and the pain I was experiencing was getting worse every day. There were times I was unable to knit or bead and would force myself because its how I kept sane. Finally, after months of pain and different treatments I went to see an orthopedic surgeon who told me that it was carpal tunnel (which I already knew since I had it in my right hand in 1999) and that he would do the surgery after Thanksgiving. I was so happy and never looked forward to a surgery as I looked forward to this one because it would give me the use of my hand back and I could do the things I loved again. I cried after leaving the surgeons out of pure happiness that it was going to get better.
After Thanksgiving I had my carpal tunnel release surgery and I knew right away that the surgery worked. I was able to feel my fingers when the anesthesia wore off and it was feeling without pins and needles! I started to crochet first because it was easier to do with a cast on and then I knitted. It was very difficult to get gauge because I was unable to hold adequate tension on the yarn but I was knitting without pain and thats all that mattered to me!
LAST YEARS GOALS
1) Start going to the gym again and losing the weight I gained during chemo. I DIDNT DO THIS BECAUSE OF MY LEG AND THE PAIN I WAS HAVING. AFTER MY SURGERY IT WAS DIFFICULT TO GO TO THE GYM. I AM NOT MAKING EXCUSES FOR MYSELF AND I DO INTEND TO HAVE A GOAL PERTAINING TO THIS IN THE GOALS FOR 2008.
2) Get a tatoo commemorating my journey through breast cancer this past year. I am still trying to decide what kind I want and find someone who will do it where I want it. I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT THE TATOO THING. I THINK ITS A FAD AND NOW EVERYONE HAS THEM. THE MORE I THINK ABOUT GETTING ONE THE MORE I DONT WANT TO GET ONE. I DONT WANT TO MARK UP MY BODY. MY SCARS ARE MY TATOOS
3) Take more knitting classes to expand my knowledge and skills in knitting. Starting in January I am taking a Dog Cabled Sweater class and I am so excited about it! I TOOK SOME CLASSES WHERE I LEARNED SOME NEW TECHNIQUES BUT I REALIZE THAT I LEARN WELL FROM VIDEOS AND BOOK INSTRUCTION JUST AS WELL AS A CLASS. THE CLASSES ARE GOOD BUT I THINK UNLESS ITS CAT BORDHI OR LUCY NEATBY TEACHING IT THEN I DONT NEED TO TAKE THE CLASS.
4) Go to the STITCHES EAST 2007 knitting conference with my knitting buddies. I DECIDED TO SAVE MY MONEY AND NOT GO. I HEARD FROM A FEW PEOPLE THAT ITS NOT WORTH IT AND TO SAVE MY MONEY TO SPEND ON YARN!
5) Join the BLUEMOON FIBER ARTS SOCK CLUB (which I am pre-registered for) and actually knit the sock patterns they send me even if they are challenging. If I get stuck I can go to my LYS and ask my sock guru (Sally) to help me out. Complete at least one pair a month, at least I said. I JOINED NOT ONLY BMFA BUT WOOLGIRLS SOCK CLUB AND MY LYS'S CLUB WHICH ARE ALL MAKING ME STEP UP MY SOCK KNITITNG. I LOVE TO KNIT SOCKS AND ITS NOT GOING TO CHANGE, EVER! I KNIT ABOUT 10 PAIRS IN 2007. I HAVE A FEW UNFINISHED SINGLES WHICH DONT COUNT BUT I WILL FINISH THEM SOON.
6) Learn to knit a sock toe-up I DID THIS ONE MANY TIMES THANKS TO BLUE MOON AND THE ROCKIN SOCK CLUB
7) Learn short rows in sock knitting. I ALSO DID THIS LEARNING HOW TO DO A SHORT ROW HEEL
8) Make a sweater for my husband and myself I DIDNT DO THIS (YET)
9) Be a kinder and more compassionate person. I ALWAYS TRY TO DO THIS
10) Still try to get a job at a yarn store no matter how many times they say, "we dont need anyone right now." STILL TRYING
11) Go to the dentist (havent been in over 2 years) I FINALLY DID THIS AND I AM SO HAPPY I DID. NO CAVITIES!
12) Garden more. I DIDNT GET TO DO THIS BECAUSE WHATEVER TIME I HAVE FREE I KNIT AND BEAD. MAYBE I AM NOT MEANT TO BE A HARDCORE GARDENER LIKE MY NEIGHBOR.
13) Try to pay bills ontime (this one is a losing battle) THIS HAS GOTTEN BETTER AND I AM DOING WELL WITH THIS
14) I am sure there are more but I cant think right now and I didnt want to end on #13, call me suspicious.
GOALS FOR 2008
1) GET IN SHAPE AND LOSE WEIGHT WITH A HEALTHY DIET AND LIFESTYLE.
2) MAKE A SWEATER FOR BOTH MY HUSBAND, MYSELF AND MY KIDS.
3) MAKE AS MANY SOCKS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE OR AT LEAST BEAT 10 PAIR WHICH I DID IN 2007
4) HAVE MORE JEWELRY SHOWS AND SELL, SELL, SELL!
5) GO TO CHURCH AND BE A MORE SPIRITUAL PERSON (I KNOW CHURCH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A SPIRITUAL PERSON BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH BOTH.
6) GO ON VACATION WITH MY FAMILY AND ALONE WITH MY HUSBAND. WE HAVENT BEEN ON ONE SINCE 2004 WHEN WE ALL WENT TO DISNEYWORLD WITH THE KIDS. WE HAVENT BEEN ON AN "ALONE" VACATION SINCE OUR HONEYMOON. SAD, I KNOW.
7) DATE NIGHT AT LEAST 2 TIMES A MONTH WITH MY HUSBAND.
8) I STILL WANT A JOB AT MY LYS AND I AM NOT GIVING UP ON THAT ONE!
9) WALK WITH MY MOM IN THE AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER IN OCT 2008 IN NYC AND RAISE MORE MONEY THAN THE YEARS BEFORE.
10) BE MORE INVOLVED WITH MY CHILDRENS SCHOOL ACTIVITIES AND VOLUNTEERING
11) LETTING MY HAIR GROW LONG AGAIN (NOT SURE HOW LONG). IT LOOKS BETTER LONG, I CAN DO MORE WITH IT AND I MISS IT.
I think the main reason I had first decided to keep it short was because of a deep rooted fear I had that I would grow it out to the length I had it when I lost it (32"~yup, it was down to my waist) and I would lose it again. I still have this crazy yet real fear but I cant let that stop me from having my hair in the style I want. I need to be patient and allow it to do its thing. So limited haircuts just to trim the ends and thats it. Last haircut was around October 24th so I already have a jump on it. My daughter is receiving 2 sacraments this year (2008) and I have a couple of weddings to go to so grow hair, grow! Grow so you can cover my big ass! LOL
I'm sure I have more that I cant remember but I wanted to get them down before the end of this year. Sorry there are no pics but I am almost done with a WIP and I promise a few nice pics when I post again.
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