Saturday, March 15, 2008

Time (heals all) Wounds?

Time is supposed to heal all wounds, or so they say. It's been a long time since my sister pissed me off and I haven't written about it here because I didn't want my blog to be poisoned by her. This is eating away at me and since no one else in my family, mainly my parents, care how she treats me and my family then I have to vent it here. So I apologize to those who don't want to hear but I promise a FO later in this post.

Last weekend we went to my parents house for my Dad's birthday. I didn't finish his birthday socks but I had some other gifts for him. My Great Aunts were there along with a couple of cousins. When we arrived (a little late) everyone was eating their pasta and my sister was not yet down from her bedroom. We all said hello, sat down and started to eat. My sister walked into the sun room, where my husband, kids, Aunts and my cousins wife were sitting at the table with us eating dinner. My parents were in the kitchen eating with my cousins husband and later my sister sat in there with them. But anyway to get back to what she did, or didn't do. She made sure to say hello to my 2 kids, my 2 Aunts and my cousin and totally ignored my husband and I. My Aunt was talking to her about something and while she was speaking to her she handed me her dish and said, "You can put some pasta in there for me too." I was in the process of making dishes for my kids and husband and was dishing out the pasta. I was appalled by this behavior as were my 2 Aunts who whispered their dismay between themselves except it wasn't to much of a whisper. My Aunt and I had already spoken a few days prior and she had asked me how things were with my sister. I told her that things were the same as she only speaks to me when she wants something like when I have my jewelry parties and I give her free jewelry because I always do the right thing as to avoid trouble. My Aunt voiced her dismay to me at my sisters behavior saying what a shame it was since she is my only sister. I unfortunately know all this already as I have tried everything to make things better but to no avail. I have said several times in this blog that all she had to do was approach me after my Nana died and apologized for all the crap she put me through when I was sick but she didn't. She didn't even call me to see how I was after my carpal tunnel surgery in November AFTER the jewelry party I had in October where I gave her A TON of stuff not only because it was her birthday but because I'm a nice person. It took her almost 4 months for her to give my son (her Godson) his birthday present which turns out was just a gift card so heaven knows why she couldn't just put it in an envelope with a birthday card for him and drop it in the mail. I don't get it. For the rest of the day after dinner she disappeared to her room and didn't show her face until we had the cake for my Dad. So for 3 hours she ignored my kids and all the company that was there to be alone in her bedroom. Her boyfriend, whom my Mom says she hasn't seen in a while, wasn't there. He's another asshole that's disrespectful to me and my kids and all we have ever done (both my husband and I) is go out of our way to help him in certain situations where he needed help. For instance: He was injured and had a big gash in his upper thigh and no insurance to pay the bill. My husband did him the favor of removing the sutures from his leg instead of him going to the doctor who was going to charge him to do it. Yeah, you're welcome prick. I can go on and on with a TON of stuff we have done for my sister and her boyfriend but it would take forever and like I said I don't want to bore anyone. What has she done for me? Not and F-ing thing, thats what.

What's more confusing to me is my parents behavior regarding her. They don't react anymore and continue to allow her to live in their house rent free. I spoke to my Mom yesterday because I couldn't hold in my anger anymore over the whole situation and she says to me, "I can't tell people how to live their lives." Oh, really? You had no problem telling me how to live my life when I was dating someone you didn't like, did you? I guess its a double standard for me then? Oh, and by the way, you may not be able to tell someone how to live their life but when that person is living in YOUR home and eating YOUR food and polluting YOUR air with her cigarette smoke and NOT PAYING A DIME FOR IT then I think you can say something to them. I almost forgot this person not only does the above mentioned things but has also treated your other daughter, who has been ill for the past 9 years of her life, worse than a piece of shit along with treating her kids this way who happen to be her GODCHILDREN.

I told my Mom that my sister was conning her when she told my Mom that she was going to apologize to me and make things right. My sister had the balls to do this when my Nana was on her deathbed. I also must remind my Mom that she wasn't there for most of the time my Nana was dying. She was off with her boyfriends Dad who was dying at the time also. By the way he lingered quite a while after my Nana's death and her boyfriend should have had the brains to say to my sister, "Go be with your Nana because she doesn't have much time left." But that didn't happen. My husband and I made sure we were there to be with my Nana as much as we could with the two kids and even when the kids were in school my husband took off work to be there.

This whole situation is so frustrating and I can go on forever about it because no matter how much time goes by it still hurts me. My Mom is an only child and she says to me, "I don't know why you can't let it go already." Is she kidding me? I was the one who was sick and had so many surgeries I can't count plus wasn't I the one who had cancer and a sister that ignored me and didn't call me once to see how I was? She doesn't know how that feels. To be shunned at a time in your life where you have just been given a cancer diagnosis when you need your family the most. I can't tell you how much it hurts. It pains me to type this and I am crying doing so. If the roles were reversed and my sister was the one that was sick and I did what she did to me just let me say there would have been hell to pay. My parents would have handed me my ass on a platter. They would have in no uncertain terms let me have it and definitely know what they were thinking about 'how I was living my life'. My Mom keeps telling me how she has tried to talk to my sister in the past and has gotten no where. Well all I can say to that is that she hasn't tried hard enough. I would have thrown her out of my house and told her that her behavior was unacceptable and that she has had adequate time to make things right and hasn't. How many chances can one person get? Alcoholics have people around them that make it easy for them to drink and behave a certain way called enablers, well, thats what my parents are to my sisters narcissistic, self-centered, egomaniacal behavior and I am SICK OF IT. They are the biggest enablers I have ever met. Now my Mom says that my sister is going to move out soon. I can't tell you how many times I have heard this crap. I can't wait for that day to come because then my sister will only know my parents when she needs something. She won't come to visit, she won't be around at all. Maybe THEN they will WAKE UP??? I don't know what else needs to happen for them to wake up.

Now for some knitting content. I finally finished my Dad's birthday socks knit in the Thuja pattern from . I used Miss Babs Yummy 3-ply Sport Weight Sock Yarn in Winebarrel. I thought it appropriate that I use that colorway since my Dad likes wine. I didn't have enough yarn to make the entire sock so I used Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino for the toes and heels.
For the first time I did an afterthought or peasant heel and I think it came out great (for the first time doing it). I also used the 3 needle bind off to bind off the heel instead of the kitchner stich like the toe. My Dad is not going to wear these socks in shoes anyway so I wasn't to worried about making it a seamless cast off. Now all I have to do it finish my Dragon Dance socks for the Rockin Sock Club before the next kit arrives at the end of the month and I am set.

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