My Knitting Mojo is Back

I finally finished the sweater I was making for my son's teachers new baby girl who was born in March. I made sure to make it a 12-18 month size so she can get a lot of use out of it when the weather gets colder. The yarn used is Great Adirondack Handspunlike cotton with a #6 needle. I absolutely love this pattern because it's a seamless kimono so no seaming when you are done! I made one for my cousins baby with the lion on it. Enough talking here it is:





I know that I have told everyone that I wanted my hair to grow so I can wear it long like I used to but I changed my mind. The other day I decided that I liked the way my curls looked when I had it in a bob. So I went to a curly girl salon to my usual curly girl stylist and she did a great job. I'll try and get a pic up soon, I promise. Jesse, the stylist says that it definitely looks better on me than the style I had before because it suits my curly personality which is so true. Crazy curls, crazy me.

I have been working a lot to make money to pay bills and all that jazz but I am sure everyone is trying to do as much as possible these days to pay their bills. I haven't had a chance to work on jewelry or knit but since I finished the baby sweater I can feel my knitting mojo coming back. I ordered a couple of books on Amigurumi so I can use the scrap yarn I have collected these past few years for something productive like a knitted pumpkin pie to be exact. I also got my hands on the Sookie Stackhouse series of books that the HBO series "True Blood" is modeled after. Barnes and Noble had a few of them but not the whole series so I bought books 1 and 2 at the book store and books 3-7 (or 8 I cant remember but it was just the paperbacks and not the newest hardcover) from Amazon.

School is out for the summer on Tuesday and my kids are not doing camp this year. God help me! My son is going to do a summer school program for the month of July which is only until 12:30pm M-F. My daughter is having hand surgery the first week of July so she wont be attending the Y this summer. We promised them that we would still do things so they will still have a nice summer break.

FO's & Froggin'

I know I am a bit late on posting these pictures but I hate to ruin the surprise for other members of the club that haven't received their kit yet. So here it is:

Woolgirl Sock Club Kit~June 2008



I absolutely LOVE this kit! I cant wait to start these socks. However, I am waiting to finish my LEAFLING socks from the Rockin' Socks Club which I am almost finished with, then I will start these babies. I was in this sock knitting funk and I finally got my mojo back. I dont know why but now I am in the sock knitting mood so I am not only going to finish the LEAFLING's but start the next kit for Blue Moon, complete the Garden Anklets for my LYS's Sock Club AND start these beauties. The colorway is called FROGGIN'.

I finished the baby cardigan I was working on for my friends baby. Its the pattern from the Knitters Book of Yarn which I highly recommend. I used Blue Sky Cotton which happens to be my favorite yarn. The size for 12 months calls for 3 skeins and I only used 1.75 skeins. Yes, I am on gauge, both row and stitch. I heard all you thinking that out there! I read all the reviews on RAVELRY before making this and most people used at least one skein to a half a skein less than what was called for in the pattern. The only problem I had with this is that I used the size buttons that was called for but somehow the way the pattern has you make the buttonholes makes them a lot larger than the buttons. I went out today and bought these larger buttons and in my opinion, are a much better fit.




Its been 2 years since my hair started growing back from its loss to chemotherapy. I have been keeping pictures of its journey to where it is now. I have had MANY haircuts along the way because if I didn't it would be past my shoulders by now and maybe even bra strap length. Its OK because I have enjoyed the journey here but I do want my hair long again. I am not sure how long at the moment but long enough to put in a pony tail or a clip. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer my hair was 32" long and past my waist. Everyone asks me if I am going to grow it that long again and I just don't know right now. Like I said, I am just enjoying the journey.




I am really a Curly Brunette! LOL

Hair Growth Update & Autumn's Arrival

My last haircut was July 24th (I think) and I dont have any plans on getting it cut any time soon. For these pictures I blow dried it straight for a date night out with my husband. As everyone knows I am CurlyBrunette and I do wear it curly 99.9% of the time but like some variety and wear it like this a couple of times a month for a change.





You can see that my bangs are no longer really bangs which is great because I want them to grow out to be one length with the rest of my hair. Growing out bangs can be a very annoying prospect but I think I am passed the most annoying point of growing them out. I wont get it cut until it becomes annoying to me and needs a shaping. Maybe sometime before the holidays. I am trying to pull off that Veronica Lake look in this picture.

This is the pink raven bead made by Joan Miller that I purchased at the Connecticut Bead Society Show a few weekends ago. You can check out her other creations at www.joanmiller.com :


Since it was the only pink one left I had no choice but to buy it. I am still trying to think of a name for it. Maybe the Pink Winged Boobie? LOL Oh, of course this is not for sale!

Still working on my Woolgirl Sock Club socks and am almost finished with one. I did a short row heel instead of the heel flap that was suggested in the pattern. It fits comfortably and thats what counts. I am certainly loving the yarn by Ms Babs and have to get my hands on some more.

Last night DH and I went to dinner and a movie to celebrate our 9th Wedding Anniversary. We went to an Asian Fusion place and the food was pretty good then we went to see "3:10 to Yuma" with my favorite man, Christian Bale. It was the best western I have seen next to Clint Eastwoods "Unforgiven". I am hoping Mr. Bale gets nominated for his superb acting in this movie.

I am having my first jewelry party in October and I am so excited about it. I am trying to get as many pieces ready for sale and that means I might have to put knitting on the back burner for a while. I dont want to do that because it seems I just got my mojo back and dont want to lose it again. When the kids are in school I am going to try and get as many things completed as I can.

There are many exciting activities coming up in October:
The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer~Oct 6-7, 2007
Two BIG Bead Shows in NYC~Oct 19-21, 2007
NY Sheep & Wool Festival at Rhinebeck~Oct 20-21, 2007
My 1st Jewelry Show the middle of October

Who can forget Pumpkin picking (which my kids went to do after school yesterday with my husband while I got ready for our date and bought the largest pumpkins I have ever seen) and apple picking. I dont plan on carving them until we get closer to Halloween because then they get rotten within a few days. Halloween is also another fun holiday that I have always loved. The kids are trying to decide what they want to be this year. Hopefully they will decide before Oct 31st!

Happy Fall/Autumn everyone!

A Little Good News and Some Bad News

My Grandmother (I am going to call her Nana from now on because this is what I call her IRL) is now in a short term rehab facility recouperating from the hip surgery she had to pin her broken hip into place. Thats the good news. The bad news is that the tumor in her brain was confirmed as being metastasis from her lungs which are filled with cancerous masses (in both) which is the primary site of cancer. She had a whole slew of tests and its confirmed as being Stage 4 lung cancer with metastasis to the brain and possibly the kidney and liver. Both of them lite up on the PET scan which means the cancer is starting to spread to these areas. My husband and I asked which would be the cause of her death and the Dr believes that she will get a major infection that wont be able to be cured with antibiotics due to the cancer being rampant at that point and the infection itself will kill her. I know this sounds a bit morbid but I wanted to know because the tumor in her brain is growing quickly and the last thing that we want to happen is that these tumors grow and cause the brain to herniate which is a painful and unpleasant way to go. She has a seizure disorder to begin with and it would cause major seizures that would lead to her death. The Dr doesnt see this happening before an infection occurring that I described above. She elected not to have brain surgery because its not going to make her better. It might actually make her final days hellish especially if she can no longer speak or eat after the surgery. It can also kill her due to her heart problems. My wish is that she doesnt suffer. I saw my paternal grandparents die horrible deaths due to cancer and I dont want to see that happen to her. Personally I dont think that my other grandparents were managed with pain medications in the proper way when they died and I know that wont happen with my Nana.

We visited her today at the Rehab Facility and I was very impressed with the place. Its bright and actually cheerful if you could believe it. When we arrived there was a lady in Nana's room with a huge Blue and Gold Macaw named Calypso putting on a little show for her and my parents. The kids got a kick out of it. The bird started to get a bit shy when we arrived but what do you want with 2 small, LOUD kids? LOL. There is also another cockatiel named Ziggy that jumps on your shoulders as you walk by her cage. Every time my Mom walked by the bird would jump on her arm and took a dump two times! They say its good luck but I didnt want to be pooped on no matter how lucky it is!!

Yesterday I did something I havent done in God knows how long. I mixed up 100gms of henna powder to use in my hair. When my hair was down to my waist it was such a hard thing for me to do and it got very heavy with all the wet hair and henna mud piled on the top of my head for 4-6 hours. Its a lot easier when your hair is barely touching your shoulders and you dont have all that hair to pile on your head. My hair is nice and shiny now and with a slight tint of red that can be seen more in the sunlight. Hopefully I wont have to do it again for a while. I had a lot left over for at least 2 more applications so I froze it.

Tomorrow I am venturing into the land of beads. I am going to BEADFIESTA! Its a one day bead show 45 minutes away from my home. I just placed an order with Fire Mountain Gems but thats not going to stop me from getting a good bargain if I see one. I am hoping to find some unique lampwork beads and also my favorite Austrian Crystals, Swarovski's! I do have a few pictures that I need to post but unfortunately I didnt have a chance to download them to my computer. I also want to wait to take pics of my spoils of war from tomorrows adventure at the BEADFIESTA Muchachos! Ole!
I am also hoping to learn about selling and marketing my jewelry so I can set up my store on Etsy. There are so many possibilities and I want to do the least complicated one so I dont drive myself crazy. There are Flea Markets, School Holiday Boutiques, jewelry parties in the home (which I think is the best one) I am hoping to have enough of an inventory to have a pre-Holiday Jewelry extrravaganza. If I dont get some shut-eye soon I'm not going to be able to do anything tomorrow.
Lights out!

A Trip to "The Big City"

This is what my 2 kids have always called NYC, the BIG CITY. Its so cute and I think my DD got it from a book that DH used to read to her when she was a baby. Its stuck and my DS picked it up now. Its adorable when they talk about it in front of people who dont know what they are talking about. When I had long hair I used to go to the place where all curly girls flocked to, DEVACHAN (salon), the brainchild of Lorraine Massey, queen of the curl. Anyway, when I had to go down there for a trim my kids would always say, "Mommy's going to the BIG CITY for a haircut!" It made people think, WOW, She must be high maintainance to get her hair cut in the city. Yeah right, first off I dont go anymore and believe me even if I did I am not high maintainance! I dont do my nails, no eyebrow waxing, nothing really. I do it all myself and have even cut my own hair when it was long enough to see the ends. (Heck I cut everyone elses in the family so why not-I'm qualified! LOL)

The reason I mentioned the BIG CITY is that we are going to see THOMAS LIVE ON STAGE today with the kids in the BIG CITY. I caught some previews on TV for it and even I am excited. I am not excited about the money I will be spending on parking and souvenirs. Its going to be very hot too and ever since getting back from the Yarn Harlot event (pictures soon people) its been hurting more and more to the point I am having difficulty walking. Its scaring me because it reminds me of the pain I had before my back surgery in 2003. I have an appointment on Tues with a new Dr and I am praying for some good news.
All I have to do is decide which knitting project to bring and not have confiscated at the door of the theater due to the killing nature of the knitter in the wild with her Addi Turbos! Give me a break people, they arent even that sharp! Now if I was using my KNITPICKS DPN's those suckers are so sharp that you can probably do some major damage.

I just remembered that the show OSWALD was about an octopus that used to be on Nickalodeon every morning when my DD was a baby. He refers to THE BIG CITY in the cartoon! Thats where she got it from. Well, I have to get going and get ready. Hopefully I will have somepictures up tomorrow of my finds from WEBS, all that happened in Northampton, and some cute pictures of Thomas. All I have to do is decide which camera lenses to bring with me!

Exactly One Year Ago

I thought I was prepared for my hair loss but I wasnt prepared for the shock that comes with it coming out. No one can prepare you for that. I know that my hair was just one of my physical features but it was one that I was very proud of and had for a very long time. It made me different from many other women my age because it was very curly and long by todays standards and past my waist. My goal was to grow it past my behind and it had been growing for about 5 years before I was diagnosed with cancer. It was 31" when I cut it to my shoulders. I then went shorter to my chin and then further up behind my ears. When I buzzed it last week I thought that would be the worse of it but this is. When I thought about the worse possible thing that could happen to me I thought about the people who would lose their hair to chemo and think that had to be the worst. I hoped that would never be me. Today, I feel like I am in a nightmare and cant wake up because it is me going through chemo and losing my hair. I guess there can be much worse things that can be happening but right now I cant think of any.

Exactly one year ago today I wrote this entry in my blog. Its funny because yesterday I went for a trim. Kind of ironic, dont you think? My hair has grown so much since losing it to chemo one year ago its hard to believe I lost it all just by looking at me. It didnt actually start to grow until August 2006 but it has grown a lot. If I didnt get so many trims I bet it would be touching my shoulders by now! I wasnt to happy with the way the girl cut my hair yesterday. She kept saying some annoying things to that got me a bit upset. One thing that pissed me off was a comment she made about how getting a terminal illness makes you look at your life and see how you have F-cked up in the past and are 'woken' up by having such a life altering disease and are given a second chance by getting through it. She gave the example of a family member of hers that was an A-hole and then was involved in a very serious car accident and then turned his life around. Well, let me tell you something you ignorant jerk. I wasnt an A-Hole before I got cancer, hell before all my illnesses started in 2000, so what you are saying doesnt apply to me. As a matter of fact I dont think that anyone gets cancer for a reason, there is no reason for getting such a messed up disease unless you were Hitler in a past life. Now I know in a past post I made about one year ago I say that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. I meant it in a different way then she was referring. It made me look at MY life and see what was really important like my kids and family and my health. She was giving examples of people who were living their life in the fast lane, doing drugs and crazy sh*t. I have never done anything like that or tempted fate or had a death wish like she said her relative had. Just to clear up some confusion. All kidding aside, I was so mad at her stupidity that I WILL NOT go back to get my hair cut there again. I dont even care if they have awesome stylists, I'm going somewhere else. See what happens when you open your mouth and spew ignorance. She said some other dumb ass things and everything I said she corrected me like my opinions and what I was saying was wrong. Hey, shut up and cut my hair. Your supposed to kiss my ass and agree with what I am saying not piss me off so I never come back again, When I left there my hair looked so bad that I had to put my head under the faucet, wet it down and do it over. When I say horrible, I mean terrible. I asked her to straighten it and she only halfway straightened it so it was sticking up everywhere. I regret that I didnt take a picture of it in that state. I probably looked better bald than I did when I left there yesterday. I vow right here and now not to get my hair cut for at least 3-4 months or until it looks totally sloppy and raggy and I cant do a thing with it. Maybe I can try and wait until the AVON WALK in October? I am going to try my best.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear?

Houston, we have FUZZ! My head has a 5 O'clock shadow and I can see my hair line for the 1st time since March. I am excited over this! I am beginning to use my Morrocco Method Products to help get the growth going a bit faster. If it does what it should and works I'll buy more. I am going to use up what I have first and see what happens because it is expensive.

I am still not feeling well from last weeks Taxotere infusion and my left eye is still twitching. Hopefully it will calm down and stop driving me crazy. My stomach is also acting weird. I need to write all this stuff down so when I see the oncologist next week I can tell him.

Tomorrow my husband and I have our 2nd counciling session with the therapist. I dont want to cry as much as I did the last time we went but I have a feeling I will.

Look Good, Feel Better

JUNE 8, 2006~I promised to write about the LOOK GOOD FEEL BETTER class that I attended last night so here it is. There were about 12-14 women there and we all had to say a little something about ourselves which was somewhat emotional for me but I got through it. Most of the ladies there were older than me making me the youngest one there. One of the ladies there was actually a patient of my husband's when she was in the hospital a few months ago. When I did my intoduction she was shocked when I mentioned that my husband was an oncology nurse upstairs. I guess it is ironic that he is an oncology nurse and I get cancer. After the intros we started talking about headcoverings and different ways to wear them (which I already am extremely good at I must say) but I paid attention like a good student would. There was a lady there that went over all the different types of wigs out there and how to care for them. I didnt wear my wig last night due to the fact it was raining cats and dogs and I didnt want to damage it because its a human hair wig and getting the lace top wet can cause the hair to loosen up and fall out. Then it was onto the good bag filled with all kinds of cosmetics. There were lipsticks from Origins, Aveda, & Oil Of Olay. Cleansers from Eucerin and toner from AVON with the matching cream, Estee Lauder blush, mascara and liquid shadow, Aveda Blush, Merle Norman eye color, liners and brow pencils, Channel foundation, Clinique sunblock moisturizer and concealer, A big bottle of body cream, q-tips, and a few other things I cant remember. They went step by step on how to apply (which I think I am pretty good at) and the instructor was a Mary Kay rep and I used to do that so I know the whole presentation already. I did learn a few things about what color I am. According to the MK lady I am a "Cool" which means I look good in blues, pinks, etc. I wear lots of pink because its my favorite color. Overall it was a good time had by all and I was so happy to see some ladies 6 months post chemo with their heads covered in thick curly hair. I cant wait for that to be me one day soon.

This morning my skin looked a lot worse so I headed down to the Dr's office so he could take a look at it. When he saw it he knew right away it was a drug reaction rash from the Taxol. I was a little upset because now they might have to change up my chemo and give me Taxotere or Abraxane instead of the Taxol. They are both molecularly different so the chances of a reaction are slim but with me you never know thats why I dont believe Dr's when they give me the statistics on something.
The Dr gave me IV Benadryl and Tagamet which took about an hour. Good thing I wasnt driving because the benadrly made me sleepy. Dr also wrote me a presription for Atarax which is an antihistasmine and in my opinion, better than benadryl for the itch. My hands (now both of them, not just the left, is so swollen that I physically cant make a fist. I have an OT appointment tomorrow with the therapist and hopefully she will have my compression sleeve that I have been waiting weeks to get. In the meantime more swelling is occuring and I dont want it to be irreversible.

When I arrived home I laid down and decided to take a nap before dinner because I didnt sleep well last night due waking up to scratch this damn itch! All of a sudden a horrible vice like gripping pain in my stomach woke me up and I was bolt upright in the bed then doubled over crying thinking I was going to die. Yes, it was that bad. My DH immediately called the Dr and he seems to think the steroids are causing that pain and to stop taking them for 24 hours and then resume. Also he wants me to up my dosage of pain meds but thats not such a bad thing. The bad thing is that for this type of pain nothing is helping me including the pain meds. Of course if it gets worse I have to go to the ER which I am trying to avoid at all cost. I had a bad experience with them properly treating my pain and I had to take my OWN meds that I brought with me! Hopefully the break from the steroid will help out a bit.

JUNE 10, 2006~Yesterday I went to the hospital to have an abdominal x-ray because the pain was unbearable. It was so bad that I couldnt even swallow due to my stomach spasming. The results of the x-ray showed a HUGE "back-up" and the Dr told me to take Magnesium citrate and get it out. The back up in my intestines was causing my whole intestinal tract to spasm and causing the pain. I took the whole bottle of Mag Citrate yesterday and half of another bottle today. I am feeling much better after spending some time in the bathroom. The funny thing is that I was never constipated in any way so how was I to know that I had this problem? The key is to avoid it in the future.

I still have the hives/rash and itch. My hands are swollen from the intense scratching and its driving me insane, even with all the anti-histamines and the steroids. I really hope that the Dr is not going to give me the Taxol again when I have my treatment on June 15th. I dont want to go through this again. There are other alternatives to the Taxol such as Taxotere and Abraxane. It doesnt matter because I will refuse to have the Taxol administered. I will advocate my patient rights if I have to.

A Feeling of Normalcy

The day before yesterday I decided to wear my wig out for the 1st time since losing all my hair. My sister came up to my house to help me out and spend time with the kids. Instead of tying a bandana around my head I said to myself, "Lets try this wig, I paid enough for it and I might as well use it!" So that's what I did. I followed all of Mr. Paris' instructions so that it would not fall off or move one bit. We went to McDonald's (the kids wanted it, I know, but they're kids what can I say?) and then we decided to check out the sales at Kohl's. I absolutely love that store. You can walk in there with $100 and come out with a sh*t load of awesome stuff. I also love the fact that its right down the road from me. I could walk there if I wanted to. Its just that I would have to lug all the bags BACK home! LOL.

We bought some outfits for the kids (very cute), pajamas for ourselves (Rainbow Bright for my sister and Elmo and Sesame Street for me-yeah we're just big kids at heart and my son loves to look at all the characters and name them), accent rugs for the kitchen and the great room, Blue's Clues bubble blowers for the kids, a pretty outfit for me (not sure if I will wear it today or not, depends on my mood), and some miscellaneous items I cant remember. I still only spent a little over $100, how great is that?!!! What can I say, the little things excite me. My sister forgot the gift card I gave her at home but still spent the money. There is always a sale going on at this place.

Anyway, I walked about my usual way and not one person looked at me funny or stared in a weird way like they were doing the last time I was out wearing one of my bandanas. I was being ignored and I liked it! Normalcy as I would call it. I got a feeling of being normal again. The wig looks so real that no one would be able to tell its not unless they themselves are a trained professional with wigs or are literally right on top of me inspecting my head!

Don't get me wrong when I say that it felt good to 'blend in' with the crowd. I am normally a very loud and extroverted person but there are times in our lives where we just don't want the attention and want to blend in. Right now, this is that time. I know that people say that they feel "liberated" when they go out in public with their bald head and that's wonderful. I give them all the credit in the world. Look at Melissa Etheridge a few years ago at some music award show, she performed without her hair. She had just finished chemo and was proud to show it off, like a badge of honor. I guess that's what it is really. I am not ready to do that but maybe someday I will have the courage to go out in public with my cue ball head.

I received my delivery of scarves from Israel yesterday. I tried all kinds of ways to wear them and they are just gorgeous. They are so comfortable and light on my head that I know when I am not wearing my wig, I will be wearing these scarves. I might even order more because who says you need a bald head to wear them? Right?

Today is EASTER SUNDAY and Christ is risen! God Bless you all and have a Blessed Sunday with your families. I am going to my Mom's house for the 1st time since February. I cant believe I haven't been down there in such a long time. I guess time is flying by and I don't even realize it. That's a good thing for me!

Here is a picture of me wearing my wig:
My Wigtastic Wig!!

Losing my Hair-17 days post 1st chemo treatment

The hair that is falling from my head is more than just falling out its coming out in fist fulls and clumps. They are clogging the drain in my shower and there is hair everywhere like pollen being spread by the wind of spring. I went outside to get rid of some of the clumps and to donate the hairs to the birds who I am sure can use it for their nests. I thank God that I buzzed it to a 1/4" because I know that I would not be able to deal with it if it was longer than this. My husband offered to buzz it all the way down but I cant do that because my scalp hurts and doing that would aggrevate it further.

I thought I was prepared for my hair loss but I wasnt prepared for the shock that comes with it coming out. No one can prepare you for that. I know that my hair was just one of my physical features but it was one that I was very proud of and had for a very long time. It made me different from many other women my age because it was very curly and long by todays standards and past my waist. My goal was to grow it past my behind and it had been growing for about 5 years before I was diagnosed with cancer. It was 31" when I cut it to my shoulders. I then went shorter to my chin and then further up behind my ears. When I buzzed it last week I thought that would be the worse of it but this is. When I thought about the worse possible thing that could happen to me I thought about the people who would lose their hair to chemo and think that had to be the worst. I hoped that would never be me. Today, I feel like I am in a nightmare and cant wake up because it is me going through chemo and losing my hair. I guess there can be much worse things that can be happening but right now I cant think of any.

It seems very shallow of me to post this here in my blog but since it is affecting me in this way I thought it was important enough to write about. Maybe when its all out and I can wear my wig properly I will feel better? I can only hope this to be true so I can feel some sense of normalcy again. I feel like I have no identity, like its being washed away with the hair thats going down the drain and flying off in the breezes of spring. I know I am the same person deep down but I dont feel that way and I am longing for the person I was before all this happened to me. My Mom says that this will make me a better person and I will come out a better person after its all over. Maybe I dont want to be a better person. Maybe I just want to be the same person I was before all these things happened to me. I dont want to be a different person, I just want the old one back.

Wigtastic!

One week out from my 1st treatment and I feel about 25% better. I have pain everywhere especially in my back where my kidneys are and my head which I have been taking pain medicine for. It helps a little but sometimes it makes me more nauseous. I am dreading the 2nd treatment which is going to be on Thurs. the 6th and just looking at the calender is making me physically ill.

Yesterday my DH and I traveled into the city to see Mr. Joseph Paris for a wig. All I can say is that his work is fabulous and we were thoroughly impressed. He wanted to make me a custom wig but that would take 6-8 weeks and I cant wait because according to my nurses my hair is going to be out in less than a week. He took out what would be almost a perfect match for me and it was amazing how it looked like my old hair. It was at least a $3,000 wig that he sold me for $1,625. Yes, it was expensive and I did pay with a credit card but my DH was totally behind the decision and we made it together. The one thing that impressed me is that no matter what I needed in the future with the wig, anything, Mr. Paris is going to do it because its already covered in the price. If I want a different style, highlights, less hair, a better fit (when my hair starts growing back) or whatever, its covered. It reminded me of buying a car with an extended warranty! I think thats how much I actually paid for my extended warranty on my car! Now thats funny. In his office there were pictures of all the movies and movie stars this guy had worked with and I couldnt believe I was actually there buying a wig from him. He told me that he works with Christopher Maloney and Mariska Hargitay from Law & Order and does both their hair. Amazing, I love that show and they both look awesome. He was Frank Sinatras personal hairstylist for many years and designed all the hair pieces he wore. I never even knew he wore hair pieces!

When I arrived home I had the surprise of the other wigs I ordered from wowwigs.com sitting on my kitchen counter. The pink one was hysterical. My DD was wearing it for awhile having a good time with it. The longer red one actually looked good but needed the bangs cut a bit because they were right in my eyes. I cant really get any of them to fit on my head just right because I still have hair and they are supposed to be used with this 'magic tape' that you need a bald head for. I have to wait until start losing more hair and then I am going to shave it and wear my wigs. I will eventually put a picture here when I get a good one that I think looks nice.

My Mom was over yesterday to be with the kids when they finished school and told me that she is doing the AVON WALK in October for Breast Cancer. I would love to do it with her but I think I am just going to be a part of her support team and see if I can walk with her that way. I cant raise the money right now and she said not to worry about it because there would be many other chances to participate in things like that in the future when I am feeling better. She's right about that because according to the Dr I will be having more surgery in Aug or Sept. so I might not be feeling like walking that distance so soon after surgery. It sounds like lots of fun though and I can participate in other activities around those 2 days.

Just my thoughts~
As I have been going about my life the past few weeks things have been bothering me that never did before. One thing is how people just whine about everything! You want something to whine about, trade places with me because I would do it in a heartbeat. I dont even care how this statement is perceived by anyone but I had to get it out. There is not a particular person that is making me react this way, just the way cancer has put so much perspective in my life and has made me see the people who really have a lot to complain about and dont. I want to say to these people, "Before you complain about whatever you are going to complain about, THINK about what you are complaining about and thing how small and minute it is in the whole scheme of things". I am not even trying to say, think about me, no, not at all. I am saying think about the little kids who suffer everyday who have nothing to eat and no home to live in. Think about the people who live in a country with no freedoms to do anything, just think, please

My Hair

I knew right away from discussing things with my breast surgeon and oncologist that I would be getting chemotherapy. The three drugs that they are prescribing for me are Adriamycin, Cytoxan and Taxol. Everyone who takes adriamycin loses their hair. My hair is my crowning glory, my best asset, in my opinion. Its curly and down to my waist. Its taken 5-6 years to get there. I knew that I had to do something about my hair in regards to cutting it before treatment started. I decided that I was going to take control of the situation and be the one to decide when I was going to shorten my hair. I cut it myself the 1st time and I involved my kids and husband in the process. I trimmed 9 inches off. I didnt cry or get upset, I just did it. It looked really nice afterwards. I waited a week and then I went to a salon to get it cut shorter. The stylist cut off another 7-8 inches and now its chin length. I will not let this disease decide when and how I lose my hair. I will enjoy my hair up until the day it starts to fall out and then I will probably shave it.