Knit REALLY Happens, and happens...

This entry was from Friday October 27, 2006
We went to The NY Sheep and Wool Festival on Sunday, known to the fiber arts community as just RHINEBECK and had the best time ever! I didnt spend as much money as thought I would but I had some rules I set for myself which I pretty much stuck to. Altogether with food, fee to get in, gifts for the kids, and of course yarn for me. I met a friend of mine thats in my Magic Loop Sock class. She was nice enought to stop me from purchasing a couple of patterns that she had already purchased. She took me aside and told me that she could send me a copy of them and save me the money. I received them today and I am so glad I didnt have to spend the money on them. It was very nice of her and I have to give her a call so we can get together and make more socks. I had my last Magic Loop sock class on Tuesday night and I am officially sock obssessed! Most of my yarn purchases there were sock yarn and I am awaiting an order from www.littleknits.com which should be here tomorrow. I have to cast on for a pair I am making for my plastic surgeon. The kids had a great time at the festival watching the sheep dog trials, pumpkin toss, sheep and llama auctions, all the food vendors and of course running in the open spaces of the Dutchess County Fairgrounds. I was upset that I did not get any Socks that Rock from Bluemoon Fiber Arts but I know now where to get them. There are so many buildings with so many vendors that you dont know where to go first. Now I know that a booth reserved by "the Fold" sells them. You can also buy them directly online so its not that big of a deal. Another friend of mine is going to STITCHES EAST in Baltimore next week and said if she sees any that she would grab them for me. You should be able to see them here:
www.bluemoonfiberarts.com or www.thefoldatmc.net Sorry for the enabling for the other fiber enthusiasts out there!

I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon on Wednesday. He said that everything looked great and we could set up the surgery for the exchange. I have a lot of paperwork to sign since I am chosing the silicone gel implants over the saline and there is an ongoing study of women who had bilateral mastectomies and then have reconstruction with the silicone implants. They look better than the saline and also feel better due to the fact that women with mastectomies have to stretch the skin and muscle unlike people that just have implants put in. I have done my research about these things and I am not afraid at all about the decsion I made. There are risks involved with everything in life and I cant worry about all of them.

I have been going back to my OT for my arm because it has developed the cording problem again. This time its making it hard to move it in cerain ways but no where near the amount of disomfort/pain that I before.

My contribution to SOCKTOBERFEST is complete and I am working on the second sock of the second pair. The good news is that I have some left overs for a small childs sock. Probably for my son because my DD's feet are too big. I feel a little weird because I am on my second pair and almost done and others have done many, MANY more socks than I. I may have to extend this socktoberfest into November and even December. Heck it should be year round! Here are the completed socks:


I finished my 1/2 mittens (they're called FETCHING and the pattern can be found here www.knitty.com) I liked the pattern a lot but the next time I make them I am going to change the design to suit my own style. There are others without the cable design that will be done a lot faster than this pair was. What takes so long is the cables. I am going to give this pair to someone who was admiring them as a Christmas present.

My Mom is coming to help out with the kids tomorrow. Hopefully I can rest a little. I wish I could talk more but its now 3:15am and I have to go sleep.

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This post was written Saturday night (late):
Remember in my last post I thought that I would be getting some rest today, well think again! My DD was coughing all day and nothing was helping her with it. Her temperature was also on the rise. I was giving her Motrin alternating with Tylenol, cold and cough medicine. I could tell something wasnt right at all. Later on in the afternoon my Mom was with the kids in the family room and I was upstairs doing some laundry (you can see I was resting ) when all of a sudden I hear crying (a distressful cry) and my Mom calling me to come down and listen to dd's lungs because she was having trouble breathing and also wheezing. I heard the wheeze and overall didnt like the way she looked including her color which was very pale and greenish. I called hubby at work and told him that I was bringing her to the ER and to expect us within the half hour. I initially thought that it was a simple bronchitis that needed antibiotics but of course this is my life we are talking about we have to make it worse than that! DD has pneumonia in the left lung and also needed oxygen and 5 albuterol treatments just to get her oxygen to a normal level. They also gave her IV steroids to help her breathe. They started her on some IV antibiotics after they got back the CBC which noted a slightly elevated WBC count. After the 2nd albuterol nebulizer treatment she started to get the shakes and a bit tachycardic (which albuterol can do) and then she vomited all over the place. I cought most of it in an emesis basin (I am so skilled at that right now ). Her color was getting worse and her fever was creaping up again. Now it was just shy of 102. They gave her some Motrin and the pediatric Nurse Practitioner said that she should stay overnight due to her dropping oxygen levels on room air. When she was on the oxygen via mask her levels were great but once it was off it went right to the high 80's, lower 90's which is not good for a child. They like to see it as close to 100 as you can get. Another reason she is staying is that her lungs are not exchanging air well causing the low O2 levels. I felt so bad I cant explain into words so I was crying out of frustration right in the exam room. I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. It sucks to be sick and this is the 3rd or 4th time she has had pneumonia in her life. Its funny because last week we brought the kids for their flu shots to prevent something like this and it happens anyway. You never know I guess but as long as they find out whats wrong and treat it properly then I can sleep well. My DH is staying with DD at the hospital because she aske him too. I usually stay with the kids in the hospital but she wanted her Daddy this time. I drove home VERY tired & upset, wanting to crawl into bed but of course I couldnt do that. I worked on my sock that I started for my DR today and realized that there was a mistake in it and frogged the entire sock! I made the mistake in the hospital because I was upset and very emotional. I shouldnt have brought it with me but it did help keep me occupied while waiting for the test results. I just started another one with CASCADE FIXATION which has an elastic component to it so it has a lot of stretch. Of course its PINK! I really have to get going with the DR's sock now, I think I might make him a heavier weight sock so it gets completed quicker? I will ponder that thought....

This post was written this morning:
I cant believe I fell asleep without submitting this post! What a dork I am
I just got off the phone with DH and found out that DD probably has to stay another night because her O2 sats are still low (she's not getting enough oxygen in her lungs) and she's still wheezing. She's getting breathing treatments every 3 hours, IV antibiotics and fluids and constant oxygen to keep her levels up. At least she got to have some breakfast this morning. I wasnt sure because she was vomiting last night. I think it was from the albuterol because it was also causing her to be hyper and tachycardic. I am waiting for the Dr to call to see if she is coming home. If not I am going to bring her some stuffed animals and books to keep her busy. My DH is supposed to work tomorrow but is obviously not going to because someone has to stay with our DD and somone also has to be with our son. Thank GOD my Mom was here yesterday. Even if she wasnt she said that she would have come up anyway to help. I will update later with any new news. Please say a little prayer for my DD to get well soon. I know all of you that prayed for me or thought of me when I needed you most brought me through some very rough times and I know that it will help my DD through this time as well.

Socktoberfest 2006!

I officially joined Socktoberfest! No its not a contest and there is no entrance fee, its just like Oktoberfest is the celebration of everything beer, Socktoberfest is the celebration of everything socks. I am dedicated to knitting (or crocheting) mostly socks for the entire month. I know that half the month is already finished but I have already knit one sock (ARTYARNS Handpainted Stripes #119 Olive) and am currently working on the second one with my Addi Turbo #5 US 40" needles using the Magic Loop method. I am currently taking the Magic Loop Class at Knitting Central and last night we had our 2nd class. Only one more to go. I made the 1st sock on 5 DPN's and I can honestly say that this is a lot easier and less near death experiences are occuring with the Addis verses the bamboo DPN's! LOL I am also working on a KOIGU sock on #2 US 40" Addis. The colorway is absolutely beautiful and I just love KOIGU yarn for socks. This is a great hint for anyone in my family that reads my blog to note all my favorite yarns and stuff because Christmas is coming and stockings look so pretty stuffed with nice red KOIGU yarns! (you need 2 hanks to make socks for anyone reading this) Last night I was up until after 2am turning the heel on my sock. I think I made a mistake because I had to frog it back to where I began my heel flap! I was so pissed. This morning I called the instructor and I am going to meet with her tomorrow at Knitting Central so she can show me the proper way to do what I have unsuccessfully have been trying to do for the past 24 hours. I did finish turning the heel and now I need to know where to put my stitches so I can finish the f-ing sock! It sounds like I am mad at the sock but I am not. I am just mad at the learning process being so slow with my chemo affected brain.
When I had my class last night the yarn shop had all the Tilly Thomas yarns and knitted samples from a trunk show they had in a HUGE basket in front of the store. The yarn in ABSOLUTELY FEAKIN' GORGEOUS. Pictures online dont do it justice at all. You have to see it, touch and feel it, heck, even smell it in person. They have yarns that have gems, polished beads, sequins and genuine swarovski crystals in the yarn so you dont have to string them on yourself. They range in price from $28 for plain silk without any beads to $128-140 for the ones with the swarovski crystals. I personally LOVE the crystals but I dont have that kind of money to spend on 1 skein of yarn even though there are a lot of yardage in one skein. 220 yards of the plain silk is reasonably priced at $28.

I continue to be hurt, angry, upset and very disappointed in my sisters behavior toward me. When we spoke the other day she did not once apologize for any thing she has said about me or address anything that I wrote about in the letter I gave her. I am not sure she wants a relationship with me anymore. She cerainly doesnt act like she wants one and I am sure she doesnt cry over it like I do. So tell me, why do I care so much?

The AVON WALK for Breast Cancer

This past weekend was the AVON WALK in NYC. My Mom raised $7500 and walked 39 miles in 2 days. I went down to the closing ceremonies on Sunday with my Dad and my friend whom I have known since the 3rd grade. This is the same friend that was avoiding me and had said some silly things to me when I was 1st diagnosed. I am glad that she came with me and she also said that she might join my Mom and me as a team next year. I didnt commit to walking this year due to the fact that I wasnt sure I would be able to complete it so soon after my surgery. The closing ceremonies were very emotional and I think I cried through 3/4 of it but I felt much better afterwards. Seeing all the women, men, families and friends that have been affected by breast cancer was unbelievable. They had survivors representing countries from around the world that walked. They travel to all the AVON walks to represent their countries. You knew who all the survivors were because the ones that walked were wearing light pink and the others wore dark pink. I was wearing pink pants, sweater, sneakers, fleece, Pink Panther socks (which is going to be our team name next year) and my AVON WALK survivor hat. It says, "I stand because you walk". I love that hat. Together everyone raised over $9.7 million dollars and the money was still coming in throughout the weekend and after the walk.

Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about my cancer coming back. I cant help thinking about it because its a possiblility. Seeing all these women, many of whom were much younger than me, made me realize that I am not alone and that we all have to be thinking the same thing. I am not sure why but knowing there are so many others makes me feel better even though I dont wish there were so many of us.

After we got back from the city we all went out to eat at a local Italian place with my husband, the kids, my grandmother, parents, two Aunts and friend. I am not sure where my sister was. My Mom said that she had a wedding or something upstate. I dont think that she would have come if she was home anyway. We had a nice dinner and I was proud wearing all my pink and several people in the restaurant asked me if I walked.

On Tuesday I had my Magic Loop Socks class and it was AWESOME! I promise to post sock pictures when I am done. I also have decided to make my plastic surgeon a nice pair of dress socks and the scarf that I am almost done with. I picked out a nice chocolate brown color by Dale of Norway for him. Now I have to pick out the perfect pattern to go with them.I dont know what size shoe he wears so I asked my husband to investigate and ask the OR nurses what size he wears. I hope he doesnt think I am crazy when I hand him a pair of hand knitted socks. He probably already thinks I am anyway.

On Wednesday I had my last fill up with the plastic surgeon and now I have to go back in 2 weeks to see when we can set up the exchange surgery. I really want to have the surgery before Christmas because these expanders are extremely uncomfortable.

Wednesday night I went to my Stitch N Bitch meeting and it POURED that night. I didnt pick a good night to go. It started to lightning and thunder the minute I walked in my house. Thank God it didnt start doing that while I was driving otherwise I would have pulled over and stopped driving.

My sister called me while I was typing this entry up. She called to thank me for the scarf and hat that I gave her for her birthday. She didnt mention the letter I wrote her or address anything that I spoke about in it. I asked her if she would like to come here on Sunday for dinner and of course she said that she made plans for her birthday to go into the city. Some things will never change.

$40 socks and Nasty Kids

We went out to the hibatchi place on Friday night and the kids were sooooo good. I thought they were someone elses kids for a moment! They loved to watch the chef cook right in front of them. My daughter proclaimed she wanted to be a chef when she grows up but she has said that before. Maybe we have a future chef brewing! I would love for her to do that, heck I would love anything she wanted to do that made her happy. My husband and I didnt go to the movies afterwards because I was exhausted which was fine with him. I want to see a new movie coming out with Christian Bale called THE PRESTIGE. It comes out Oct 20th so I'll have to wait but I am a patient woman.

Monday the kids were off from school because of the holiday and I went to my Knit Group Meeting (the one with my Occupational Therapist). I havent been able to make the Stitch n Bitch meets because DH has been working those days so I was very happy to make it to this meet. They are all going to the STITCHES EAST convention and thats all they spoke about www.knittinguniverse.com . I am so jealous but I AM going next year so I am not that jealous. I brought the sock that I completed and they were all impressed. It made me feel good coming from professionals who crank out sweaters every week! They all weighed in and told me that I needed more yarn to complete the second sock because there was not enough left over. If I started the second sock and had to attach another ball of yarn I would have an issue because it would not likely match up. The yarn is varigated and I would have to find the exact place in the yarn so the stripes would match. They all said to just get another ball of the yarn. Problem was they dont have this yarn ANYWHERE except online. I went to www.knittingzone.com and ordered Artyarns Haindpaint Stripes #119 and as soon as it comes I am in business. These are becoming very expensive socks but just imagine what a great story it makes for my 1st pair of socks. I have to remember to take a picture of the completed sock but I might wait until I finish the second one. I am not planning to start it right away due to the fact that I have the Magic Loop Sock class coming up next week and they said that there would be homework. They are expecting us to complete the pair in the 3 classes so I will have homework every week. I also ordered a ball winder with the yarn and it is exciting because it takes me forever to wind up hanks of yarn into balls. It took me 20 minutes the other day to wind the Shaefer Esperanza yarn into a HUGE ball that impressed my DD I tell you. She said, WOW Mom thats a huge ball of yarn! She was right. The ball winder makes the yarn into a center pull ball thats shaped like a 'cake'. They call it a 'cake' because it looks like one more than a ball. Its kind of square and very pretty to look at. Sometimes the skeins that you buy at a craft store are better when they are wound into a 'cake' and are easier to work with. So in other words I will be winding everything with my ball winder. Enough talk about yarn.

My hair is almost a 1.5" now. I have left the house without my hat on. Thats an accomplishment. I had to take my daughter to her 1st CCD class and after meeting in the classroom we went over to the church for a blessing. I was sitting in the same row as the teacher (who was sitting next to me) and her son (who is also in the class and the same age as my daughter) was sitting behind me. All the kids were loud and being very rude and I cant imagine that the teacher couldnt hear what her son was saying/ and or doing in the seat directly behind her. He and his friends kept touching my head and I heard them laughing and making fun of me. I know that they are kids but I was still hurting inside. It really made me feel horrible and I wanted to cry. I wanted to turn around and give these boys a piece of my mind but the mother was right next to me and we were in church. I did however turn around a give them a dirty look but it didnt do much. I cant get over how useless his mother was during this entire thing AND she is the teacher. I hope this kid doesnt cause trouble the entire year in this class. Ugh, stress.

Bigger Boobs!

My OT called me yesterday and told me that I wasnt on her schedule for the day. I wasnt in the mood to drive to Greenwich so I didnt care either way. Now I have to reschedule for next week.

Today I had a PS appointment and he put another 60cc into each expander. He told me that I have to make a decision about whether or not I want them bigger because right now I am officially BIGGER than I was before I had the mastectomy. Thats what the doctor said and I was amazed that I didnt realize it. I told the PS that I think I want 1-2 more expansions but I am thinking more toward just 1 more expansion. He showed me the pictures that he took before my surgery and I never realized that even though my breasts might have the same mass as before, the mass is distributed differently. That just means that I am not saggy but perky. My thought process is that if my breasts are bigger than my waist will look smaller. Funny thing happened what I was leaving the office: The secretary/receptionist said, "You look so pretty in pink, it makes your skin glow" I told her that pink has always been my favorite color. (and its ironic that it represents breast cancer). I looked at the Dr who was walking by and said, "You are wearing pink today also" (he was wearing a pink dress shirt and looking mighty good I might add) He replied, "I knew you were coming today thats why I wore it." I thought that was a cute thing to say. The PS is a VERY good looking guy and according to what I have heard he is that same age as my DH. He could be a model he is that handsome, if he quits his day job that is!

Tonight my Mom is coming up to stay the weekend. We made reservations for this awesome hibatchi grill (my favorite) tonight. I thought it would be nice if we all went out to eat for our anniversary and then DH and I would go to the movies alone after dinner. Hopefully we can get in to see THE GUARDIAN. I havent been to the movies on an opening night in a very long time so I am foreseeing a LARGE crowd. I also hope I can stay awake that late because lately I feel like I have narcolepsy. I fall asleep at the computer and while reading or knitting but I cant get to bed at night. Crazy right?

Our 8th Wedding Anniversary

Wow, I have really been neglecting my journal and for good reasons. I have been very busy and exhausted with the kids and DH working. This is the 1st time I have had to write. I have an OT appointment this afternoon and a PS appointment tomorrow. I am not looking forward to the PS appointment but at least I dont have that much longer to go. He said 2-3 more fill ups if I am happy with them. I am not sure so I cant say that this is a definite. I might want them inflated a little bit more That sounds so funny to say that.

Tonight I might attend a Stitch n Bitch but that also depends if I am exhausted and if its raining because its a drive away and I dont want to drive in bad weather. On the knitting front I have ripped up my cable scarf for the DR and started over. I wasnt liking the way the edges looked. They probably looked fine to everyone else but me. I am also almost done with the sock (finally). I made a hat originally for my son but its a bit small so I am going to give it to my Mom's friend who has a 3 year old girl with a smaller head (I hope). My OT (who knits) told me that there is a yarn store going out of business 5 miles from the hospital so I might have to check that out today before my appoitment. I should get there early so I can go have my blood drawn but I dont want to have to wait forever so maybe I'll do the blood thing tomorrow. I also have a scarf that I am making for myself in the works. I am not liking the way its coming out but the yarn I am using makes it impossible to rip back so I decided to embellish it later on with some fancy crocheted edging. Easy solution, combine knitting and crocheting and there you have it.

These expanders are driving me crazy! Yesterday I had to lift my 40lb son out of his car seat (he was sleeping) and after that I was having muscle spasms in my 'boobs'. I cant wait to get the implants in and these things out!

Sept 26th was our 8th Wedding Anniversary! We might go out Friday night to the movies or dinner. Not sure yet what we want to do. I cant believe I know my husband 13 years and we have been together for 11 of them.

Recently, I have had many thoughts running through my mind about recurrance and what I would do if the cancer came back. I promised myself I would not go there but its inevitable that I would. I had a very agressive cancer that hasnt been really studied as much as the others (triple negative where you cant treat with tamoxifen or any hormone blocking therapy) It was not only triple negative but multifocal meaning 2 types of cancers in the breast and grade 3. Many people get stuck on worrying about stage (I was stage 2b) where it distinguishes whether or not the lymph nodes are involved and if its spread further and beyond that but dont realize that Grade is more important. I wont get all technical on you but grade will basically tell you how agressive a cancer is (in laymans terms). Almost 100% of triple negatives are grade 3. You cant help but think about it because its a big possibility. I know that I would have no choice but to fight like I did before but it would scare me to death. Its hard not thinking about it and doing so doesnt change anything so what good is it? I just had to write this now so when I come back later and have all my words explode on the page you'll at least know they didnt come from no where.

NO, my sister hasnt called me yet. I'm not holding my breathe either.

Fill 'er up! Plastic Surgeon visit and other ramblings

I had a Plastic Surgeon appointment on Wednesday. He put in another 60 ml in each expander so there is a total of 480 ml in each on so far. He thinks that I will be happy with it at 600 ml which I think will be perfect. Like I said I dont want gigantic boobs I just want to be proportionate. Figure thats 2-3 more visits with him every 10 days so thats 30 days then I have to wait 5-8 weeks after the last fill up and then have the exchange surgery.
That leads us to the end of December (I think). I thought I would have to go until the spring to have the exchange but its going to be sooner and I couldnt be happier over that.

Still no word from my sister. Her birthday is coming and I decided to give her the scarf and hat that I originally made for my Dad. It is more of a style for a woman thats why she is going to get it. I am going to make my Dad something else, I just dont know what yet. I am in the middle of making a few things right now. One of them is a cozy pink/beige scarf that I love so much I cant give it up. I made another headband out of some mercerized cotton and it came out great. I need some more hair to wear them though! I am almost done with my sock and also another scarf that I am crocheting with leftover yarn. I also am crocheting another hat from a pattern from the DIY network but I am not sure its coming out like it should. The directions might have an error in them. I guess we will find out soon enough. Then I am finally working on my Plastic surgeons gift. I am making him a cabled scarf with a very nice colored wheat yarn thats a wool/acrylic blend so he can wash it and it wont shrink to the size that a midget would use. No offense to any midgets reading this (I am only 5' 1/2" so I am not the biggest person in the world). OK I think I have bored everyone with my fiber talk. I am still the highest bidder on that pink yarn yay!!! Hopefully I will still be and win but if I dont I am sure there are other yarns out there that this seller is going to be putting up for auction that are just as beautiful. I didnt make it to the Stitch n Bitch this week because I didnt feel to well after my PS appointment and then Thursday I was still not feeling well so stayed home. Hopefully I can make it next week.

I signed my DD up for religious ed today at our parish. Its $75 for the year and runs from Oct-May. At the end of 2nd grade she will receive Penance and Holy Communion so she has a bit of time because she is only in the 1st grade right now. Its once a week after school for an hour so its not bad at all.

I am not liking her teacher (1st grade) at this time. She has a system of giving tickets to the kids when they do something good and it can be at her discresion. So the kid who has the most tickets right now has 10 tickets and my DD has only 1. I dont think the system is fair but I dont know who to tell. My DD feels bad about this because you need a certain amount of tickets to get stickers or even lunch with the teacher (25 tickets). This is not right and promotes favoritism with students. The reward should have nothing to do with the teacher. Can you tell I dont like her? Hopefully things will get better when she leaves after Christmas because the real teacher is on maternity leave right now and I am sure shes better than this idiot.

Another bit of crappy news is that my Mom's bosses boss threatened to fire her if she didnt return to work ASAP. Keep in mind that she IS working from my house and not just doing nothing! He is a total a**hole and now I have no one to help me out. I am on my own starting Monday and what makes it even worse is that my DH is working 3 days in a row (it sounds like nothing but these are 15 hour days and he is gone from 5am until 8pm at night so it sucks big time). I know that I can do it because I look at it one day at a time.

I think I have a few more things I forgot to write but its ice-cream time now so bye!

Just another yarn (story)

Tonight I was invited to attend a knitting group that my Occupational Therapist goes to. They all meet at the hospital (same on my DH works in) and they are nurses, a doctor, therapists and patients (like me and another lovely elderly lady who was teaching me a lot of stuff!) I had a great time with them and found it very easy to chat with them while I worked on my sock. I forgot to post it here last night but I did post it to my blog that I am almost done with my 1st sock!! I turned the heel last night which I thought I would never do correctly but I did!! The ladies were impressed with my sock abilities and all agreed that if I could do a sock after only a few months of self-taught knitting then I can certainly do a sweater. I am definitely going to take a class in sweater making but its going to be AFTER the holidays. I am already signed up for the Magic Loop Socks class in October and hopefully I will be done with my second sock before then. Socks come in pairs you know!

Last night I did something I shouldnt have done but I did it anyway. I bid on the most gorgeous, beautiful NZ, hand dyed wool yarn that I have ever seen. I bid on the pink one of course and I want it soooooo bad I can dream of what I will knit it into when I get it. I also like the fall colors she has but I dont have the money to really bid at all so I have to just do it for the pinks which I think was meant to be since it is my favorite color. One of the ladies that was at the knitting meet tonight mentioned that if I really wanted something on eBay I should get a sniper. I am not sure about that though because I have never bid on anything and I am not sure if I need a sniper at the moment. I want to see if I can win on my own and then use one if I have a hard time winning. Yes, I am an eBay virgin and it will be my first time winning or losing so I hope its not to hard on me.

I was supposed to have an OT appt tomorrow but I cancelled due to the bad weather coming in and I am not feeling to great. I hope I am not coming down with anything because I have a horrible headache today. Its not time (I dont think) for AF to be visiting but she has been showing up on my doorstep at unexpected times the past few months. She makes me so mad when she comes uninvited.

DH and I have been doing better since seeing the therapist these past few months. I missed her for a few weeks after my surgery but we picked up where we left off and we had our latest appt this morning. It went well. I am trying to get my Mom to come with me so the therapist can give her an unbiased opinion about my sister.
Her birthday is coming up next month and I was wondering what to do about it. My son (her Godson's) birthday falls on the same day as hers so she should be calling him to wish him a Happy Birthday. I am going to give her the Fishermans hat and scarf that I originally made for my Dad but realized later on that it came out to 'girly' and not appropriate for a man. Its a home made gift that she better like! Only kidding, I do want her to appreciate it because I made it and all the things I make mean a lot to me and when you receive them then you know you are someone special to me. Sorry for that long, run on sentence there! One of the lovely ladies tonight mentioned that you have to LOVE the person you are knitting socks for because they are difficult to make and dont last as long as a sweater.

Turning the Heel on my ARTYARNS sock

I cant believe I did it but I did! Now dont get me wrong I havent finished the sock yet but I TURNED THE HEEL on it which is the hardest thing to do when knitting socks (they say). I am so excited because I have my Magic Loop socks class coming up and I wanted to finish these socks on my DPN's before I started the class. The class is in October so I have some time left to finish the remaining part of this sock and also the 2nd sock.
On another note I finished the TRIO tote bag I was making for myself to be able to carry a small project or two in it. Its very nice and I love the colors in it. So everyone who is a knitter knows that there is no such thing as just owning one knitting bag! Impossible, you have to have at least 2 maybe 3 or 4! Maybe even more than that. I have a few more bags on my to do list but I cant felt anything in MY washing machine because its a front loader! I need a top loader to felt. That means I have to go to my Mom's when I want to felt things OR I can make a swatch and see what happens when I put it through my machine. Its worth a shot and I can do it when I do a hot water wash.
I am also in the process of making a MOBIUS for myself. Its probably going to go to someone else as a Christmas presnt because I want something in pink. Its coming out really nice in the SPRING DESERT color by LION BRAND Landscapes, very pretty colors in that mix. Its also a bulky yarn that knits up pretty quick. I am using #13 for this project. Its a big difference from working with the socks which are on #5 DPN's. Well, its good practice for the socks I am going to make on the #2's! Thats going to be a challenge for my eyes I tell you.
I have a beautiful yarn which is 100% cotton made by Patagonia which I bought a long time ago and now I am searching for the perfect pattern for it. I have 2 balls of it which I think adds up to almost 300+ yards so I can make a very long scarf with it, or a caplet I guess. I have to find a pattern. Still need to start my Mom's fancy scarf because just thinking about it not being done for Christmas is making me ill with worry. She is not expecting it for Christmas because she knows I am busy but I would like to give it to her then along with some other stuff. I also have a wonderful pattern for a wine cozy from www.knitty.com Sorry I cant remember which one its in.
Tomorrow DH and I have a therapist appointment and I will most likely spend the entire hour crying over certain family members who STILL havent called me. I guess the letter I wrote couldnt have upset them too much.
I talked about this with my Mom and I cant understand it because if the shoe was on the other foot I would never be acting this way toward my ONLY sister. Its just really sad and it makes me more upset and angry every time I think about it, which is just about all the time.

My 1st Stitch n Bitch and other Life Happenings

It seems like I am getting a bit lax with my blogging. I wasnt in the mood the past few days to do much writing, especially after I wrote that 7 page letter to my sister. She still hasnt responded to the letter that I wrote her. I know that she read it because my Mom told me she did. The ball is in her court now because I have done all I can to help our relationship. She also has to acknowledge the problem that she has in order to make it better. I am convinced that she has serious problems that only a therapist can help her with but she wont go to one. I am so upset by all this crap thats all I talked about when DH and I went to see our therapist today. I did a lot of crying and had a huge headache when I left her office.

Monday was September 11th and always a sad day for me. I watched all the ceremonies on TV and waited for them to read our neighbors nephews name. He was a fiefighter who died that day. 9/11 is also my Moms birthday so I made her these cute little pink heart shaped cakes and she loved them. The kids loved them too!

This evening I had to go to my daughter's schools open house. I wasnt planning on going but there was an incident with another student and my daughter and the teacher wanted to meet me. She wrote a note home to me yesterday saying that my daughter had her hands wrapped around a boy's neck. The teacher reprimanded her and then she proceeded to push this boy and then was further punished by the teacher. This behavior is TOTALLY UNLIKE my daughter and I asked her what happened. She said that the boy was chasing her and causing trouble and she told the teacher and the teacher said to "work it out herself". Now she has no reason to lie and I could see this teacher saying something like that. The boy was harrassing her further and she did what she had to do to get him away from her. It was a girl defending herself from a boy not the other way around for Gods sakes! I told my daughter she should have gone to another teacher that would have listened and that there is no reason she should push or wrap her hands around anyones neck. The teacher spoke to me today and said that all the kids were "playing this game" and they all had to be told to stop. I was so upset over this incident that I have been an emotional wreck. Its everything happening thats bothering me not just this. It builds on top of one another and then comes tumbling down on top of me.

On a happy note I decided to go to a Stitch n Bitch meeting last night. We met up right in the center of the Yale University campus which is beautiful, by the way. There were 8 of us all together and we had a great time. I was a little nervous at 1st because I thought that I would be the one who knew the least and I wasnt. I actually helped 2 ladies with their work and told them where they made the mistake and most importantly I fixed it for them!! They were so grateful and I was excited that I actually new enought to help them. They were looking at me making the tote bag I am working on like I was some type of circular needle God. It was so funny trying to convince them that I really did teach myself a few months ago! I am using TRIO yarn and the bag is coming out fantastic. I am going to make it my goal to finish it tomorrow. I also made 2 headbands that only took 30 minutes to crochet both. Since I am getting more hair on my head I am starting to wear headbands with little flowers or something on them to show off my hair or what I have of it that is! All the ladies asked if I was going to join them again next week and I was touched that they enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. I was also invited to join a knitting group that my Occupational Therapist is in at the hospital. That meets every other Monday and I think they will be meeting up this coming Monday. Knitting & crocheting has been my escape and its been helping me get through these stressful times in my life and I LOVE it like no other hobby I have ever done before. Going to these Stitch and Bitch meets is my therapy and if it helps me thats a wonderful thing. I also think that its good for me to get out and meet new people with similar interests as me.

Tonight my DH asked me to teach him some crochet stitches and I showed him the chain and the single crochet stitch. The problem is that he is left handed so I have to sit directly in front of him so he can 'mirror' my actions. He did it fairly well but gave up because he was dead tired. Tomorrow I will teach (or try to) him the double crochet but not before he nails the single crochet stitch. Hopefully he will pick it up fast and make me something! LOL

Knit Happens

I have been crying since 9 am this morning. Its a long story and it has to do with my sister. My Mom spoke to her and told me what was said. One of the things that upset me the most was that she said I was always my Moms favorite and she feels that I havent been a good sister to her. I am so angry that I typed up a 7 page letter with all the examples od how SHE is the one that hasnt been there for me and that I have always invited her and included her in everything since we were young. My Mom even said to her that it wasnt true. I am so angry, hurt and mad as hell that she would use this as a smoke screen for her irreverent behavior over the past 6 months. My Mom suggests we all sit down and talk about why she feels this way. I think she needs some professional help because she is the one that has alienated herself from the family and this has been going on for years. She has turned down all my invites to anything I have invited her to and she has the nerve to say I havent been a good sister. She has some set of balls to say that. Especially when I am in the place I am in in my life. I needed her the most while I was going through this and she throws this in my face? Only a self-serving, selfish individual would do that. The letter touches on all these points without name calling and so on so maybe it will get through to her? One could only hope that it does. My Mom is also upset over the entire thing because my sister thinks that my Mom has done more for me. Well, right now my Mom is the ONLY one helping me so she is doing a lot. My sister didnt have cancer or need the help that I did and I hope she never does but what could she (29 years old) want from my Mom that she isnt giving her? I just dont get it. Is she jealous of all the attention I am getting. I wouldnt call it attention that I want because I want things to be the way they used to be. I dont want help taking care of my children. I want to do these things on my own but for now I need help. Why cant she accept this? I dont want to lose a sister over this nonsense, I just hope she doesnt either. Its time to grow up.

I had an appointment with the PS yesterday and he put in 60cc of saline in each expander. He said there is 420-450cc total in there right now and that they hold 600cc max. If you wanted to you could put more than that but he doesnt reccommend it. So hopefully we are moving along as scheduled with all this and I will have the exchange surgery within the next 6 months. The pain is not to good today but thats to be expected with the fill up yesterday. Pain meds do your stuff!

On another depressing note, the owner of the yarn store called me and said that she wouldnt feel comfortable right now having me alone in the store on Saturdays due to my lack of experience with making garments and lacework, etc. As soon as I get better at those things she said that she would gladly hire me. She was totally nice about it but with all the emotion today I cried when I got off the phone because I really wanted it bad. So I must practice lots! I'm off to knit!

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures!!

I promised some pics of what I have been knitting and crocheting so here it is. I regret not taking pics of the scarves that I gave away but I am making more of them. Last night I finished the autumn colors scarf that I started crocheting on Sunday but have not taken a pic of it yet.
This is a scarf that I made for my Aunt for Christmas. Its a moss stitch pattern:

Hat and scarf I made for my Dad (not sure if I am going to make him something else and give this to a woman because the hat looks girly to me. Maybe because its on that head? :lol:

Cell phone case:

My DD's hat:

Three crocheted headscarves and a hat:

Crocheted Hot pad holder/dishcloth:


On another note I might have a part time job at the local yarn shop! I have to go and see the owner to chat about the specifics so I am not totally sure its a done deal yet. Wish me luck!

Labor Day Weekend

I need to replenish my yarn stash!!! I hope I get another order from NC.com soon so I can get more yarn. There are some I am just drooling over. Here is a picture of some:
Beautiful Yarn
Tell me thats not gorgeous yarn. My Mom told me that I can give her a list of all things knitting related so she can get them for me for Christmas. I better start on that right away!

Yesterday we went to my parents for Labor Day and it was OK. My Dad seems to be returning to his old annoying self. He constantly is starting arguements with my Mom over stupid things and also he was trying to annoy me but I was having none of that. He definitely has low self esteem to always have to be right with everything. Growing up he would always tell me that I had a complex and problems meanwhile he is the one with the issues, even my Mom admits it. When I approached her yesterday to ask what was up his a** she said that she cant deal with him anymore and ignores him. OK, thats not possible for me because hes soooo annoying that I have to shut him up by telling him to stop and not ignoring him. I cant even remember what the arguement was about. I am totally convinced that he is STILL in denial about everything I have gone through and in his mind it has not happened. This is how he deals with things. I am not questioning his love for me but he has a very strange way of showing it and he doesnt realize that words can hurt. My DH gets fed up with him too but he has to be quiet about it not to cause more trouble.

After dinner I felt like I was drugged and had to go and take a break in my Grandmothers room. I fell asleep for an hour and a half on the recliner! I was so beat. Thats what happens when you cant get to sleep until 3-4am.

I brought my new bag to my Mom's and everyone loved it. I was proudly showing it off and telling them that it was my present from my DH for our anniversary. Now they all want one and only one of them crochets! Too funny. I was able to fit EVERYTHING in it and I mean everything. My wallet, make-up bag, cell phone, meds, 2 pattern books, my sock, scarf, and Mom's scarf project all fit in it.

I started a brown/mixed autumn color scarf yesterday that I am GOING to finish today. It is my mission to finish it because I dont want to be rushed with making Christmas preents the last minute. Its my own design and if I remember to take a picture of it I will. I am so bad with that. I finished my Dad gift which is a fishermans hat and scarf, my great Aunts scarf with lots of pretty fringe and I made a few washcloths that I was going to put in a basket with soaps and lotions for someone, I dont know who yet. I also made my DD's hat for the winter and I think I'll make a small scarf with the left over yarn or maybe a mobius neck warmer depending upon how far I can stretch it.

I did something really big yesterday that I am so proud of. I went to my Mom's without a scarf or hat! I wore a headband with some pretty crystals on it and I wrapped a chiffon rose around it and placed it near my left ear. I looked a little like a 1920's flapper and I felt free. Like I said, I am enjoying my hair at all the stages it will be in until it reaches the length that I want it to be. I am not sure what that exact number is going to be but I do want to be able to wear it up and braid it so definitely bra strap length as the least. My scalp has been annoying me with those scabs I used to get when I had my long hair. The MM shampoos are keeping it under control but I have to use them every day otherwise it flares up again. Moonchaser's oil massaged into the area helps a lot.

The pain is still annoying and I had a lot of swelling yesterday but today it seems to be a little bit better. I have to go on Friday to see the PS and I am not sure if he is going to fill me up again but I think he is.

Now I am off to take some pics of my work!

My sister was away for the labor day weekend on a camping trip. She last spoke to me the day after my surgery which was 8/17. She came home when I was napping in my grandmas room and only said hello for one second to my DD. Her excuse was that she was 'dirty' and needed to get washed. She came home at 6:20pm. I came out of my grandmothers room at 10 to 7 and still no sister in site. We left at 8pm and my sister didnt even come out and say goodbye. Hell, she didnt even say hello so why should I expect her to say goodbye. Anyway, I wanted to add that here because I was hurt yet again by her behavior. My Mom says that I should get over it but she is an only child without any sibblings, she doesnt get it. I also told her that if one of my kids were acting that way toward the other I would DEFINITELY have a conversation with them about their behavior because its just plain WRONG. I know that I would never treat my only sister this way.

Back to School

I signed up yesterday at the local yarn shop for a class on making Magic Loop Socks. The class is in October and I cant wait! When I get really good I can give socks as Christmas presents next year. Right now I am making them on DPN's so its going a bit slow. Its only a 3 day class thats 2 hours a class for a total of 6 hours.

Last night with the reminants of Hurricane Ernesto hitting us, we lost power at 11 pm and then it came back on at 1 am. I was so pissed about it because I was in the middle of knitting and its really hard doing it in the candle light, I must say. I didnt get to bed until 3:30 am anyway. I am not even sure its insomnia or just that I feel I have so many things to do and not enough time in the day to do them. Cant the day be 26 hours long?

My Mom is getting ready to do the AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER in October in NYC. She has raised $7,500 so far. I am planning on going down there to the opening/closing ceremonies. My DH is going to have to stay home with the kids because they cant come. I am probably going with my Dad because he knows how to get around the city better than me.

Drain Removal and my 1st Expansion

I finally changed my blog name and I am so happy I did! Since I changed it I also changed the http address so if you have it saved to your favorites as the old one, you are going to come up with a message that it doesnt exist anymore.

I went to the PS on Wed to take my drains out. It wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be but man were those suckers in deep! I felt the 'pop' when he pulled them out. After he pulled them he suggested that I get my 1st 'filler up' of the expanders to help push out any fluid that was laying around the expander. I couldnt say no so I had that done. Its not painful but lots of pressure involved since it involves the chest muscles and skin over it. I didnt feel it right away but when I arrived back home I couldnt even move my arms and had to get into bed to rest. After about 24 hours they felt much better. I have to watch for certain signs that their is a build-up of fluid but everything seems to be OK right now. I am going to be knocking on some wood for continued luck in this area! I have an appointment with him in a week to see how I am progessing.

In the knitting news: I crocheted a dog jacket for my short haired doxie because he is always cold in the fall/winter months. It was a tad to big on him so I sent it to my friend who has a doxie thats a bit bigger than mine and she has done so much for me over the past 6 months that its the least I can do for her. I hope it fits him.

I was working on socks and I had to frog them (rip them up and start over) because DH and I had an arguement last night and I was in the middle of a row. During the arguement I lost a DPN and all the stitches got messed up. I was actually crying that this happened because it took me so long to get to where I was. I plan on starting it over today with a different sock pattern. The arguement was a stupid one too. He was stressed because he couldnt sleep and he had to wake up early for work this morning. He kept telling me that I was keeping him awake. I dont know how I was doing that because I was doing what I normally do every night when he is sleeping. I am still mad at him for blaming me.

I also started a mohair blend scarf for my Mom's birthday which is 9/11. Its a surprise because she thinks I am only making the one that she picked all the yarn out for which in reality I havent even started yet! It shouldnt take to long to make since I am using size 13 needles to knit it up.

Speaking of the hubby, he bought me my anniversary present early this year. Our anniversary is at the end of the month. He got me the Namaste Vintage Knitting bag, here it the one at the bottom of the page. Its absolutely beautiful and I am in love. Its big enough to not only hold your knitting but also your everyday items such as wallet, cell, make-up bag, etc. I am sick of carrying so many bags when I go places and want to take my projects with me also. In case you are wondering I got it in rose/light pink, of course!
Hopefully I wont have trouble starting the sock over today.

I Should be sleeping!

I have been meaning to write about my visit to the PS on Wednesday but I have been a bit busy. I was working on knitting a pair of socks for the 1st time today and to my surprise its coming out nicely. That is until the yarn got all tangled and it took me an hour to untangle it and roll it back up!! Until tomorrow then, I need some sleep!

Changing the name of my blog

I have been thinking about it alot lately but I want to change the name of my blog to something that is more appropriate to what it happening with me at this time in my life. I have been diagnosed with cancer, been treated for cancer, had 2 surgeries for cancer, reconstruction of my breasts due to their loss from cancer and have recently been declared cancer free. In other words I have suvived and I plan on surviving the rest of my life no matter how long that may be. Its also not just about surviving anymore, its about living and I know I have lots of that to do too!

My life will never be the same again and I have accepted that. It will never be "normal". I need to find a happy medium for me and my definition of what "normal" is.

Over the past few months knitting and crocheting have become my refuge so I know they will be in the title. I have a poll going on at TLHC to see which one of these titles win:

KNIT HAPPENS
PURL INTERRUPTED
CROCHET IT AIN'T SO!

Those were the top three my DH and I liked and seemed appropriate for my circumstances. Here are some others I came across:

I KNIT THEREFORE I AM
KNIT FREE OR DIE
KNITTING A NEW LIFE
PURLS OF WISDOM
JOURNALING THROUGH MY YARN STASH
MY LIFE, MY YARNS
BALLS, SKEINS & HANKS, OH MY!
YARN BABY!
BOUND FOR GLORY
MY LIFE'S YARNINGS

They are all cute in their own way and there are so many out there that are taken like:

WIPS AND CHAINS

I liked that one a whole lot but it belongs to someone else who was smarter than me to think it up!

I also realize that I am going to have to post more pictures or links to them to show my handiwork. No one wants to just talk about knitting and crochet and not see pics! Of course not.

I went ahead and changed the backround and the title will soon follow.

Title change in the wind?

I was seriously considering changing the title to this blog. When I look back on what I endured the past 6 months it seems appropriate because it was my story of surviving BC and I won. Now its a journey of sorts. One that I have never embarked on in the past so I am unsure how to go about doing it. Life for me is a journey at this point. There is a lot to see on this journey called my life (I hope) so I will consider changing it to something like that.

Update on the drains: They are still draining and I have lots of swelling in between the breast area. PS said that he might have to stick a needle in there and drain it on Wednesday when he pulls both drains. There is also some nasty discharge from where the drain enters my body. I am sure you wanted to know all that. Anyway, I did what a good nurse would do, I cleaned it with some H2O2 and Betadine solution. I am still on the antibiotic so hopefully thats doing a good job at keeping infection away.

Tomorrow my family was going to come up for dinner but my Nana is not feeling well so they are staying home. I have lots of knitting and crocheting planned. So much to do before Christmas and not a lot of time to do it. I have an afghan that I put on hold due to the fact I have other stuff that has to get done first. Right now I am finishing up my daughters winter hat (that I frogged once already) and a scarf for my Aunt's Christmas present. I cant believe how long that ones been taking me. I had some issues with a pattern I used for my Dads hat. They said to cast on 70 stitches and it came out way too big. I had to go to the craft store yesterday and get elastic cord and thread it through the ribbing of the hat. It looks fine and you cant tell anything is different but I am pissed at myself and at the jerk that made the pattern!

One Week Post Surgery

Yesterday I had my follow up with the PS to check and see if the drains could come out. In order for them to come out there has to be less than 30ml in a 24 hour period being put out by the body and I am no where near that amount. Its about 75ml on the right breast and 65ml on the left breast. Its funny that the breast without the cancer has the most issues with amount of drainage and with pain.

The Doctor retaped my steri strips and felt around to see if everything was where it was supposed to be. There is so much pressure on my chest right now that it hurt when he did that. He also wasnts me to remain on the Clindamycin until the drains come out and he gave me another script to fill. I have been on it since before going into surgery except it was IV and now its pills.

The hardest part of my days have been in the morning when getting out of bed. I have to sleep slightly elavated so I have on of those geometric pillows under my upper body with my satin pillow under my head. Then I have a pillow under my legs and a body pillow to the left of me to prevent my DH from hurting me unintentionally in his sleep. THEN I have a small pillow under both arns where the drains originate from. You thought I would never end there did ya! Its the only way I can sleep due to the drains, inscisions and expander placement. I have heard other women who have gone through this say the best way to sleep is in a recliner which I dont have nor do I have the $ to buy one right now. Plus, I dont want to sleep in a chair, I want to sleep in a bed! My bed. I have at least accomplished that. This morning I had more pain then usual and swelling so I called the Dr this evening and he asked a ton of questions to make sure it wasnt an infecton. He said I might need an increase in my pain meds and that he wants to see me on Friday. He doent think the drains will come out them either but definitely they will come out on Wed the 30th because you cant keep them in a day longer than that

The pain is bad as I mentioned many times but it hasnt stopped me from doing the things I love. No, I dont mean clean either because I havent done any! Since coming home on Friday I have been to the yarn store about 4 times. Yarn addict, thats me. First yarn store visit:On Saturday my Mom and I went to 2 places and she was treating so hey, why not get some nice stuff, on sale of course. She wants me to make her this gorgeous scarf that I have designed in my head already and its simply stunning if it comes out the way I envision it. Its for wearing with her suits at work and neutral colors but still full of color at the same time. She said that there was no rush on it but I want to get it done so she can have it for Christmas.
My Mom wanted to go see some puppies in the town next over from mine and I LOVE dogs so why not. I saw a Maltachshund, which is a combo of a Maltese with a Doxie and it was the cutest thing I have ever seen. The price of the dog was crazy though ($1400) so NO buyee the doggee mommee. We didnt go there to buy a dog anyway just to look and have fun. It so happens that one of my favorite yarn stores is down the street from the puppy place so there was our Second store: This is the store where my Mom found all the components for her scarf and she was thrilled. I knew however that I needed more of one material which I ordered from www.knitpicks.com which I consider my Third yarn store visit
Yesterday after my Dr's appointment my DH took me to the little knitting store by the hospital Fourth visitand they had a HUGE 50% off sale and I couldnt resist. I was surprised my DH was so interested in the yarn I was buying.I bought one of my favorite yarns, Koigu. I hope I spelled that right. I dont like misspelling things but I do it all the time.
Today my Dad came over to take me, DH and the kids out to breakfast and the nearest IHOP is 1 mile away from AC MOORE where they have a million different yarns! So there is the Fifth visit to a yarn store!

When I got home I received my Denise Interchangeable Needle Set!!!
Now I am in the middle of making my Dad's hat to go with his scarf that I made a few weeks ago. Both are made with a Fisherman's Wool combo and I know he is going to like them.

I have been going through some very stressful & upsetting happenings lately stemming from a member on another site that I will not mention and I will not go into the drama here in my blog. This person should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of my situation with my health and thats the lowest you can go. So what I have to say is to my other friends here, "Please dont trust anyone and if you have a suspicion about someone then you are probably right. Trust your instincts!" I'd like to thank all those who have reached out to help me and been so kind to me and also made me feel at ease over the whole situation. Maybe someday I can go into more detail.

5 Days Post-Op

I went into the hospital on Tuesday Aug. 15th at 6:15am. They took me right in and started and IV and premedicated me. I have had surgery before but all this was happening so fast! Before going into the OR the anesthesiologist came to see me along with the PS and the BS. I was EXTREMELY upset that I wasnt having the anesthesiologist that signed onto my case weeks ago. I told this one that I had a fear of waking up in massive pain and he promised that wouldnt happen. (I'll go into it later but he lied)

I was rolled into the OR at 7:30-7:45pm and they medicated me immediately so I dont remember anything of the surgery. I do however remember waking up crying in agony. I was crying because it hurt to even breathe. The anesthesiologist was supposed to follow me into the recovery room but didnt and my DH was pissed about that. He put in a call to my pain specialist who met me when I got into my room. If it wasnt for him and the nurse practitioner that he works with I would have been up sh*ts creek without a paddle. I had a foley cath in and was not allowed to move out of bed anyway so I pressed the pain button lots of times.

The nurses and assistants assigned to me during my time there were fabulous. They made sure I got up and helped me to wash and do the stuff I still cant do yet due to the 2 drains coming out from under each arm. I didnt have a dressing because the surgeon doesnt think they are benefitial and used something called Xeroform dressing just to cover it gently.

I brought tons of crochet and knitting with me to the hospital and everyone that came into my room would ask me what I was making. I made a pretty scarf with a flower for my breast surgeon and she loved it. She couldnt believe that I did it in one night! Well, I had nothing else to do so why not. My Mom bought me a few books on kniting and yarn too. She is making me make he this gorgeous scarf (no time limit) and I made her get me all the proper yarn that the project requires. I cant wait to get my Denise Interchangeable Needles so I can start some of these projects that I have been meaning to start since I came home on Friday. My Mom liked the scarf I made the Dr so much that I made her one with the left over yarn I had from the first one.

Right now I am in a lot of pain and taking my meds like I am supposed to do. With these expanders under the muscle in my chest it feels like I have something there that shouldnt be there. I know it shouldnt be there but you know what I mean. I have to see the PS on Tuesday to see if the drains will come out. They have to be draining less than 30ml in a 24 hour period and I am FAR away from that. I think he wants to see how I am progressing anyway.

Many people called me in the hospital and I was very relieved that they did. I didnt have to stress over the fact that someone didnt call. There are still people that havent called me but I have accepted that people like that exist and I cant do a thing about it.

Thanks to everyone who thought about me or said a prayer, I appreciate it.

My Pathology report came back and it was totally clear of any cancer!!! I am cancer free so I am off to change my siggy now...Where is that dancing naner when you need it??