Monday, August 27, 2007

Some Things Never Change

Yesterday we went to my parents house for the 1st time in months. I cant remember when I was there last. I have been avoiding going there for fear I will run into my sister and I really dont want a fight to break out. My husband is a very calm and laid back person but if he runs into her I am afraid he is going to have an explosion. He has seen what she has done to me, the stress she has caused me, sleepless nights and numerous fights we have had over the whole situation. This is why he wants to kick her ass and so do I. I think there is a line forming with the same request because my parents have had it with her behavior also. I have been telling my Mom for months that she has to do something about it and she finally realizes it now?

I cant tell you how many times I have written her letters, or my parents have tried to talk to her and get her to change. As we all know, people dont change because we want them to. They change because THEY want to. Some things never change and she is one of them. Its shocking to me because something like your sister battling something as serious as breast cancer would be enough to wake up some people from their stupor, but not her. Its both upsetting to me and very, very sad. She was actually over the house yesterday, in her room on the second floor when we arrived. My Great Aunts were there along with her (my sister's) Godmother and she didnt even come out of her room to say hello or greet anyone. She snuck out of the house without anyone knowing without saying anything to anyone.

My Mother is extremely stressed right now and this pissed her off even more. My Mom told me that my sister never came to visit my Nana in the rehab facility (she was there for 21 days). My Nana is in the process of dying right now and my sister cant even spend time with her? What has my Nana ever done to her to deserve this type of treatment? Well, whatever it is it must be the same thing I did to deserve the treatment I have been receiving from her. My cousin was also over for dinner yesterday and filled me in on some stuff I didnt know and I dont think my Mom even knew. She said that when my Nana was in the hospital (she didnt know it at the time) she came to my parents house to visit her and my sister was home. My cousin asked how I was doing (not knowing she doesnt talk to me) and my sister replied, "We dont talk anymore." She made a mistake there when she said that. She should have said that SHE doesnt talk to ME!! What a bitch. She also said that she was "taking the day off" from visiting Nana because me, my husband and my son were visiting her. Yeah, she didnt want to run into me thats why. I love that phrase she used also because every day is a day off for my sister. She stays out all hours of the night and then sleeps until 3 in the afternoon AND she's going to be 30 years old in 2 months! They call that a LOSER in my dictionary. My kids went upstairs to say hello to her and was knocking on her bedroom door. She opened it and said that she was busy and couldnt come out but she would come out and play with them later. She lied. She lied to my children, her Godchildren. Can you see why I am getting madder?

Think of how the whole situation looks to an outsider. She is the one that looks like an asshole, not me. After all I went through and all the surgeries I have had even before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, she doesnt talk to me? WHY?? I have had many, many surgeries and medical issues since I was pregnant with my daughter and she is 7 and a half years old. She never lifted a finger to help me or call me or anything for me or my family. I would always extend an invitation to my sister and her boyfriend (who is my son's Godfather) and she would say NO 100% of the time. After a while it gets frustrating but it didnt stop me from inviting her to do things with me and my family. Can you tell I am a little upset? I was crying on the ride home yesterday not only for this but the whole situation.

My father is so clueless also and he hasnt changed. Before I went through chemo I told him I didnt want his negativity around me. I wanted to surround myself with positive people, which he isnt. He told my husband that he wants to "negotiate a peace" between me and my sister. My husband said no, dont do that. He told my Dad that he just doesnt understand how I feel because he has never been in that type of situation. My father thinks its the best thing to do "for my mother" at this time. NO ITS NOT and he needs to mind his own business. He's so damn clueless that when we were leaving and he was saying good-bye to us he mentioned that he's still trying to convince my sister that smoking is bad for her. UGH!! WAKE UP! I told him to stop giving a shit for people who couldnt care less about him. See, he doesnt get it. I could go on and on about him too but I dont want to keep typing all night. You get the point. I havent talked about my sister and the situation in a long time because thats not what this blog is about. Its important for me to tell the story so I can vent and get it out. If I held this all in I would explode and sometimes its nice for you readers to know why I am in a certain mood and such. I am sure with the situation going on with my Nana, you might be hearing a bit more about my sister and the whole situation. If anything happens to my Nana, I am going to inevitably meet my sister face to face and man do I have a lot to say. I am hoping there are lots of people present when that happens. My father also makes me mad because he's a mean person and he has always been an ass to my Nana. My husband and I always told him that she wasnt well and thats why she acted and said the things she did. Sometimes she said some crazy things about me but I didnt let it bother me more than a minute because I knew she had something medically wrong with her and that would explain it. My Nana's Dr and my husband tried to tell my father that Nana wasnt well and not to be so mean to her but he never listened and it continued. He said some mean things to my husband yesterday but he wont tell me what they were. It wouldnt surprise me because this is the same person that told my husband that I caused my own cancer because I "stress out" at silly things. Can you see me getting MADDER now? Hypocrite.

Back to my sister...Right now I am not sure my parents can do anything about my sister because of the situation with Nana. She came home and is under hospice care. They originally said that she had 6 months but my husband and I both agree that her condition had deteriorated much faster than we first thought. Dont get me wrong, I dont want to see her die but I dont want to see her suffer this way. Yesterday she was in a lot of pain and we had to call her Dr and the hospice to get her pain medication increased which, by the time we had left she was having some relief. Please say a prayer for her.

I have to talk about some happy things now.
Here is some jewelry I have made over the past few days:

Amethyst Set
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Cotton Candy Cane
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Millifiori & BC Awareness Bracelets
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Mint Chocolate Chip with Cherries
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Close up of the Cane Glass
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Pink Stars in a Blue Sky
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tribal Glitter
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Autumn Leaves-SOLD!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Smoky Topaz Gets in Your Eyes
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Purple Passion Flower
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Marshmallow Marble
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Blue Hearts
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Come Fly With Me
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


My Sock Kit from Blue Moon came the other day!
Flower Power colorway and Summer of Love Lace by JC Briar pattern:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I havent started these socks because I have to finsih at least one of the Solstice Slip Socks from the June kit. I am trying to finish the cabled tank top but I had to rip back and fix a mistake yesterday so that set me back a bit. I'm slow but I get it done should be my motto!

Friday, August 24, 2007

A Finished Object at last!

I actually finished some knitting the other day. Getting the Ravelry account lit a fire under my ass to complete some UFO's
and actually get organized. The Cabled Tank top I started so long ago is almost complete. All I have left is three-quarters of the front and seaming it up.

Moccasins Slippers
IMG_1851

I gave these to my Dr's wife who just had her 4th child along with some candy (everyone loves candy) and the Peridot Swarovski bracelet and earings I had made a while back to signify the month of August for this baby's birthdate.

After putting my WIP's and FO's on Ravelry I went through all my yarn and made a big donation bag to give to my husbands co-worker's church. When we moved I literally gave her at least 20 boxes of clothes, toys, books and other things that were in great condition but we had no use for anymore. One thing I hate to do is throw things away. If someone else can use something then I am going to give it to them to use. The bag was basically filled with mostly acrylics and some nice baby yarns I wasnt using (I think there was some PLUSH by Berroco that I bought for 1/2 price and every time I tried to knit with it I couldnt see my stitches) and a few sock yarns that I either didnt like the colors anymore or I didnt like the feel of them through my fingers when I was knitting them. Someone is going to be pleasantly surprised when they find some nice Tofutsie & Regia sock yarns hidden in a bag of acrylic! LOL.

My grandmother is not doing well at all and I couldnt even get her to talk when I called her the other day. She has given up and wants to die. I also think that the reason she's not talking is because the brain tumor is growing so fast and is causing memory and speech problems. I do know how she feels. I am probably the only one in the family that can say that because I had cancer. Right now I have one word for cancer and since my blog is rated R at the present time and I dont want to make it an X rating I wont say what it is. You can certainly imagine what word I am thinking of at the moment.

The kids start school next week and I am busy getting everything prepared for that. I cant wait until they are both in school so I can actually get things done! I can work on getting some excersise, working on my jewelry and maybe setting up a site where I can sell it and also, most importantly, working on getting some WIP's finished. The possibilities are endless! My son will be in full day Kindergarten. The only day he has early dismissal is Wednesdays which I can deal with. If he didnt go full day he would be bored out of his mind. He's been driving me crazy these last few weeks because he says, "There's nothing to do." Yup, school cant come fast enough for me.

So, back to the knitting. I was going through other knitters FO's and kept seeing COECHELLA from Knitty's Summer '07 issue popping up. Never in a million years would I think it would ever look good on me but looking at other ladies with similar body types not only pulling it off but looking awesome in it made me run out yesterday and purchase some Berroco Suede. I CANT wait to cast on for this one but I am NOT going to until I finish the Cabled Tank. I am not sure if I can keep that promise but I will try. Lately, even my husband seems to get excited over yarn. When Woolgirl sent me some of her new Union Center Colorway named after her he expressed how nice it would look knit up into some socks. Then yesterday when my Rockin' Socks club package arrived he came into the house with all the mail announcing, "Your sock club yarn is here, open it so I can see what kind it is." Yup, all he has to do is learn to knit and maybe we could get a pair of socks done faster then me doing one at a time. I can dream cant I? The color and the name suit each other perfectly. I took a picture but didnt I set all these knitting goals at the beginning of the year and I think one of them was to learn to knit 2 socks at once but I havent learned that yet. I need to learn to do that but it seems knitting 2 socks at the same time is a lot easier to do when you are using 2 circular needles as opposed to 1 circular using the magic loop method (my favored way of sock knitting). I have been trying to find the new Cat Bordhi book in my LYS's and the book stores but have been unable to locate it anywhere but online. I have held off ordering it with much restraint but I am unsure if I can wait any longer because lots of people are talking about how fabulous it is with all these new and awesome techniques in it. Blue Moon has it AND they also have some new colors up for the holiday so who knows what can happen with that combo. Dangerous, thats what it is. I've been good with the yarn purchases lately because I have been buying beads to make my jewelry. Hopefully that will be a good investment when I start to sell it.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Wait is OVER!!!!

For months I have been patiently waiting to get my invitation to Ravelry.com and 3 days ago the wait was officially over!!! I am on Ravelry and sooo addicted already. You can organize everything that has to do with your projects, yarn, knitting and crocheting. They make is so easy its incredible. The most difficult thing was opening a Flickr account. Right now I keep all my photos on Photobucket and I think I am going to stick to keeping my jewelry pics there and my other knitting and crochet on Flickr. I might change my mind as time goes on because I already LOVE the way Flickr manages there pics.

So anyway, for months I refused to even discuss Ravelry on this blog because I was a little bit upset that everyone else was having all the fun and I was waiting on the sidelines. I dont want to upset anyone out there thats waiting for an invite but I am sure its coming because I was WAYYYYY down the list so I am sure yours is next. I am CurlyBrunette on Ravelry also if anyone wants to hang out. I am still in the process of organizing my sh*t on there but I think its going to be an ongoing process of organization. Last night I put some of my projects, books and even got the cutest pattern for baby bootees. I was so excited over Ravelry yesterday that I almost finished the knitted slippers I am making for my Dr's wife who just had a baby and the Blue Moon Solstice Slip sock. My hand wasnt any worse for wear so I guess I need to start knitting more. Plus the weather was a bit Fallish last night (I love Autumn!) so that means more knitting! Woolgirls sock club starts in September and another Blue Moon Kit is going out next week (August's Kit). I cant believe that this is going to be the 4th kit. That means there is only October's and December's to go.

Here's somthing totally different, NOT, LOL!

Rainforest Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Turquoise Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tigers Eye Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Red Agate Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Pink Clouds Choker
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Hearts Afire Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Peridot & Pearls Bracelet
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I promise (and I mean it this time) a FO will be in the next post. Ravelry has lit a fire under my ass, or I should say skein!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I Really Do Other Things

Its been a while since I posted and I have been busy making more jewelry and doing a little knitting. My left hand has been swollen due to my lymphedema and it gets numb and hurts when I knit so I can only do a little at a time. Its a real pain in the ass because its affecting everything I want to do, not only my knitting. A trip to the occupational therapist is in order so I have to make an appointment with her ASAP along with a re-check with the neurosurgeon for my leg and my 3 month check with my oncologist. Its time for another CAT scan of my body and a MRI of my leg.

Good news-my stitch markers are up at www.woolgirl.com and there is a direct link to them in my sidebar. Unfortunately all of them are not up as of yet but maybe there is a reason for that. We will have to wait and see. I also put the link to the leave-in conditioner that I make for www.naturallycurly.com (betcha didnt know that!). Looking at all these pictures you must be thinking thats all I do all day is bead but thats not true. These pictures were taken from as far back as Aug 8th and I was delayed in posting them. I also didnt name all of them because thats a talent in itself that I need more practice at.

Blue Lampwork Flower Beaded Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Green Cubic Zirconia Crystal Necklace-even though the name cubic zirconia implies cheap or imitation therefore cheap, they are not cheap to say the least. They are also prettier in person and have just as much sparkle as Austrian crystals.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Kazuri Bead Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Dichroic Glass Beads-I bought these beads (4) at my local bead shop. I loved them (obviously) because they are pink and very pretty.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

When You Wish Upon A Star
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Copper Wire Necklace with Turquoise Chips-I made this out of 16G copper wire and it was originally supposed to be a bracelet but I didnt like the way it turned out so I decided to continue and make it into a necklace. Every piece you see on this is hand made by me.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Crystal Cube Pendant- Swarovski Crystals
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Crocheted Necklace/earings with glass pearls and turquoise chips
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Black and Pink Set-My husband gave me the idea for this set and I like it a lot. I used tiny Swarovski crystals to bring out the pink of the tiger eye beads
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Pink Rectangle Pendant-I almost kept this one I love it so much!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Angels Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

My Kazuri Bead Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

My LYS had their big sale this past weekend and I had a chance to go on Sunday. I went through all the baskets with any yarn that I can use with my jewelry. I got really lucky and found a ton of stuff for less than $1 a ball! I also spoke to the owner, Cynthia, to see if she would be interested in having me teach a crocheted jewelry class. She said that she would think about it and I told her that I would show her some of what the finished product would look like. I bought some of the 6/0 seed beads that she selld there and some great fabric ribbon that matched the beads. If I do get this chance to teach a class she would like all the students to use the beads that she sells. It makes sense to me, its just that I havent made a necklace/bracelet with the 6/0 beads but it shouldnt be a problem because I've used smaller than that before. Cynthia also told me that they will be starting a sock club in September for the entire year with a shippment of yarn with an original pattern by one of the stores lovely lady designers. I am not sure if I would join right away since I am already a member of 2 sock clubs and need to get my behind in gear and make the last kit from Blue Moon before the August kit arrives the end of the month.

On another note, my Mom has been raising quite a few dollars and I would like to thank all that have given her their money. I also wanted to say that I havent received any responses to the donations for any gift baskets (the fundraising idea I had and talked about in a previous post). I know that I am not a famous or popular blogger so thats probably why i dont get the traffic that others do. I am not sure what will happen with the gift basket idea but the other one that involves the jewelry is still in effect. So please, if you can give a donation then give what you can and its much appreciated.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Might as Well Face that I'm Addicted to Beads (& yarn)

This jewelry making stuff is so addicting but its a good addiction. I can think of plenty of bad things I could be addicted to; beads and wool are not one of them. Since its so damn hot and my lymphedema affected hand is killing me, I havent been knitting. I have been working here and there on the last part of the cabled tank top but who knows when I will complete it. Hopefully before the summer is over. I havent even completed 1/4 of one of the Blue Moon Rockin' Socks Club Kit for June and the next one for August will be going out the end of the month. Gotta get moving on that because I have always finished the previous kit before the next one comes. I also joined the sock club that Woolgirl is running and it starts in September. Here are some more completed beading projects:

I am calling this set "Pur~pearl Hearts". It sounds a little funny but its cute so why not? LOL
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Lovely Lariat
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Crocheted Hearts Necklace
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This is a necklace I made for my husband and I will just say that I named it "Bull headed".
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Daffodils
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

My neighbor gave me a necklace with a lot of beads that a friend made for her. I offered to make it into something that she would like to wear instead of sitting in her drawer. This is one of the two brooches I made for her. The other is the same except I used Sterling silver wire instead of the purple wire to give it a different look.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This is one of my purchases from BEADFIESTA on Sunday. Its a Joan Miller Bead. You can see her other beads at her website: www.joanmiller.com She says that all her beads tell a story. This is the front and back view of the bead which is about 20mm at its widest point. I put the 2 Fire Opal Swarovski's with it and strung it on waxed cotton. I was thinking of putting it with other beads but its such a beautiful and unique bead that I think it should stand alone. Its such a conversation piece and thats one of the reasons why I love it. I also LOVE turtles and tortoise. (Remember my post with my unfinished argyle sock and the chocolate turtle?)
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I bought the beads to make this lovely Swarovski creation of Butterflies and flowers at the bead show. The earings I made were 2 beads I had leftover from another project. I love the colors of these beads.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

There were some great beads at the show on Sunday and I purchased a few kits to make necklaces and stuff. I also got a great deal on czech glass beads and some "kazuri" beads that are made by tribal women in Africa.

Can you believe I still havent finished the Harry Potter book yet? I am still at the same spot I was the last time I posted.
Nana is in the Nursing Home/Rehab and doing as well as can be expected. She is scared of whats going to happen to her and I dont blame her. She gets upset whenever my Mom has to leave her and this is after my Mom has been with her for 4+ hours. I still havent run into my sister or heard anyone mention her but its only a matter of time before I have to cross that bridge when Nana comes home.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

A Little Good News and Some Bad News

My Grandmother (I am going to call her Nana from now on because this is what I call her IRL) is now in a short term rehab facility recouperating from the hip surgery she had to pin her broken hip into place. Thats the good news. The bad news is that the tumor in her brain was confirmed as being metastasis from her lungs which are filled with cancerous masses (in both) which is the primary site of cancer. She had a whole slew of tests and its confirmed as being Stage 4 lung cancer with metastasis to the brain and possibly the kidney and liver. Both of them lite up on the PET scan which means the cancer is starting to spread to these areas. My husband and I asked which would be the cause of her death and the Dr believes that she will get a major infection that wont be able to be cured with antibiotics due to the cancer being rampant at that point and the infection itself will kill her. I know this sounds a bit morbid but I wanted to know because the tumor in her brain is growing quickly and the last thing that we want to happen is that these tumors grow and cause the brain to herniate which is a painful and unpleasant way to go. She has a seizure disorder to begin with and it would cause major seizures that would lead to her death. The Dr doesnt see this happening before an infection occurring that I described above. She elected not to have brain surgery because its not going to make her better. It might actually make her final days hellish especially if she can no longer speak or eat after the surgery. It can also kill her due to her heart problems. My wish is that she doesnt suffer. I saw my paternal grandparents die horrible deaths due to cancer and I dont want to see that happen to her. Personally I dont think that my other grandparents were managed with pain medications in the proper way when they died and I know that wont happen with my Nana.

We visited her today at the Rehab Facility and I was very impressed with the place. Its bright and actually cheerful if you could believe it. When we arrived there was a lady in Nana's room with a huge Blue and Gold Macaw named Calypso putting on a little show for her and my parents. The kids got a kick out of it. The bird started to get a bit shy when we arrived but what do you want with 2 small, LOUD kids? LOL. There is also another cockatiel named Ziggy that jumps on your shoulders as you walk by her cage. Every time my Mom walked by the bird would jump on her arm and took a dump two times! They say its good luck but I didnt want to be pooped on no matter how lucky it is!!

Yesterday I did something I havent done in God knows how long. I mixed up 100gms of henna powder to use in my hair. When my hair was down to my waist it was such a hard thing for me to do and it got very heavy with all the wet hair and henna mud piled on the top of my head for 4-6 hours. Its a lot easier when your hair is barely touching your shoulders and you dont have all that hair to pile on your head. My hair is nice and shiny now and with a slight tint of red that can be seen more in the sunlight. Hopefully I wont have to do it again for a while. I had a lot left over for at least 2 more applications so I froze it.

Tomorrow I am venturing into the land of beads. I am going to BEADFIESTA! Its a one day bead show 45 minutes away from my home. I just placed an order with Fire Mountain Gems but thats not going to stop me from getting a good bargain if I see one. I am hoping to find some unique lampwork beads and also my favorite Austrian Crystals, Swarovski's! I do have a few pictures that I need to post but unfortunately I didnt have a chance to download them to my computer. I also want to wait to take pics of my spoils of war from tomorrows adventure at the BEADFIESTA Muchachos! Ole!
I am also hoping to learn about selling and marketing my jewelry so I can set up my store on Etsy. There are so many possibilities and I want to do the least complicated one so I dont drive myself crazy. There are Flea Markets, School Holiday Boutiques, jewelry parties in the home (which I think is the best one) I am hoping to have enough of an inventory to have a pre-Holiday Jewelry extrravaganza. If I dont get some shut-eye soon I'm not going to be able to do anything tomorrow.
Lights out!